either about the abuse or of the initial defense claim

LQZ

Senior Member
Mandarin
But Wendy Murphy, a former prosecutor who teaches at New England Law School in Boston, said she didn't believe the jury was swayed by any of the shocking claims -- either about the abuse or of the initial defense claim that Caylee accidentally drowned in the family pool. ABCnews (no subscription)

Dear all,

I repeatedly read the above, ending up thinking it may be not a well-constructed sentence, especially the italic part. To me, it is not logical for the italic part to follow any of preceding words. May I have your opinions? Thanks.


LQZ
 
  • Copyright

    Senior Member
    American English
    It seems fine to me, but I would take out the "of": either about the abuse or of the initial defense claim ...
     

    owlman5

    Senior Member
    English-US
    I agree with Mr. C, LQZ. That "of" looks pointless and annoying to me. However, I'd be inclined to use "by" in its place: ...either about the abuse or by the initial defense claim that... Maybe the writer wanted to avoid using two "by's" in that long, snaky sentence.

     

    LQZ

    Senior Member
    Mandarin
    What you said is what I think. I might haven't expressed myself clearly. Thank you so much, Mr Copyright and owlman. :)
     

    jiamajia

    Senior Member
    Mandarin
    There have been a few shocking claims. One is that the accused's father molested her; another is that Caylee accidentally drowned in the family pool.

    The original text reads fine.
     

    LQZ

    Senior Member
    Mandarin
    I agree with Mr. C, LQZ. That "of" looks pointless and annoying to me. However, I'd be inclined to use "by" in its place: ...either about the abuse or by the initial defense claim that... Maybe the writer wanted to avoid using two "by's" in that long, snaky sentence.

    But Wendy Murphy, a former prosecutor who teaches at New England Law School in Boston, said she didn't believe the jury was swayed by any of the shocking claims -- either about the abuse or by the initial defense claim that Caylee accidentally drowned in the family pool.

    Hi, owlman, :)

    I still have trouble with your version. I would say: ...either by any of shocking claims about the abuse or by the initial defense claim ...
     

    owlman5

    Senior Member
    English-US
    There have been a few shocking claims. One is that the accused's father molested her; another is that Caylee accidentally drowned in the family pool.

    The original text reads fine.
    I don't trust your instincts on this one, Jia Ma Jia. Using "...of the initial defense claim" doesn't make any sense to me regardless of how many claims the writer is talking about.
     

    owlman5

    Senior Member
    English-US
    But Wendy Murphy, a former prosecutor who teaches at New England Law School in Boston, said she didn't believe the jury was swayed by any of the shocking claims -- either about the abuse or by the initial defense claim that Caylee accidentally drowned in the family pool.

    Hi, owlman, :)

    I still have trouble with your version. I would say: ...either by any of shocking claims about the abuse or by the initial defense claim ...
    I agree, LQZ, that an "either...or" construction would be handy in this sentence. We both seem to agree that it looks bad as it appeared in the publication.
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top