"Even so,by coming across stronger than men were...

Soy Yo

Senior Member
USA
EEUU - inglés
The following English sentence has been discussed in the Spanish-English forum. It seems to me that the sentence is badly written and perhaps even grammatically incorrect. Could I get some opinions on this? An explanation as to what is wrong, if anytnig?

"Even so, by coming across stronger than men were comfortable seeing women interact, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while."
 
  • Gordonedi

    Senior Member
    UK (Scotland) English
    I believe that the sentence is grammatically correct, but a little difficult to understand. I had to read it twice to grasp which words were in each phrase.

    That said, it would be difficult to express the same thoughts more clearly whilst keeping to a single sentence.
     

    Soy Yo

    Senior Member
    USA
    EEUU - inglés
    OK, thanks!!! I had to read it at least three times and then had a feeling that a word had been left out somewhere. ????(By coming across stornger than men's comfort zones allowed, women feminists pushed the genders apart for a while.)????

    Even so, by coming across stronger than men were comfortable seeing women interact, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while.
     

    suzi br

    Senior Member
    English / England
    It seems clearer if the order is changed:

    " even so, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while by coming across stronger than men were comfortable seeing women interact."

    but I still think it is an example of clumsy expression.
     

    cuchuflete

    Senior Member
    EEUU-inglés
    Soy Yo said:
    "Even so, by coming across stronger than men were comfortable seeing women interact, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while."
    It's a mess.

    I like the re-arrange approach, as I can't figure out what "were" refers to..

    Even so, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while (so far, so good:)) by coming across stronger then men(I assume this refers to feminists)....aha! Got it. It does function grammatically!

    Here's a translation: Even so, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while. They, the feminists, did this by coming across in a manner stronger than that in which men were comfortable seeing women interact.
    What a thoroughly dreadful abuse of English.

    Even so, by clumping across more turgidly and obscurely than readers were comfortable seeing words interact, obscurantists pushed the gerunds apart for a while. :)
     

    Soy Yo

    Senior Member
    USA
    EEUU - inglés
    cuchuflete said:
    It's a mess.

    I like the re-arrange approach, as I can't figure out what "were" refers to..

    Even so, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while (so far, so good:)) by coming across stronger then men(I assume this refers to feminists)....aha! Got it. It does function grammatically!

    Here's a translation: Even so, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while. They, the feminists, did this by coming across in a manner stronger than that in which men were comfortable seeing women interact.
    What a thoroughly dreadful abuse of English.

    Even so, by clumping across more turgidly and obscurely than readers were comfortable seeing words interact, obscurantists pushed the gerunds apart for a while. :)

    Love it! Plus it makes me feel better. In the other forum, most responders to the request for a translation into Spanish understood the question immediately and had no problem with the way it was stated. (They were for the most part non-native speakers of English.) I had to read it at least 3 times and still didn't get it. It seems that the "coming across" loses it's sense of "direction" when you get to "than men were comfortable seeing"....

    Wow, what a challenge! And last but not least... thanks a million!!!
     

    foxfirebrand

    Senior Member
    Southern AE greatly modified by a 1st-generation Scottish-American mother, and growing up abroad.
    The problem with this sentence, aside from the obvious, is that it's untrue.

    By annoying people, certain feminists do just that-- they annoy people. They "push" those people away from them, from them in particular. Expanding their annoyance to a statement on "gender" is self-aggrandizing on the part of these minor-league "feminists," and must be part of what makes them so annoying. Oh, I mean what makes them "come on strong." What bogus cant.
    .
     

    DAH

    Senior Member
    USA/California--English
    Soy Yo said:
    The following English sentence has been discussed in the Spanish-English forum.
    "Even so, by coming across stronger than men were comfortable seeing women interact, feminists pushed the genders apart for a while."
    I get it, but it could be better written.
     
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