fine-tune the design

furie

Senior Member
Spain, Spanish
Hi,
Would you help me with the following? I don't know if the first sentence is correct (gerund and as such) and specially the whole part with fine-tune. I don't know if I can use it in this context.

Creating a good product is not enough, it should be perceived as such.
With this aim we study the perceptions of future clients to help you meet their needs and emotions with your products, services and physical places. With techniques such as the emotional engineering we can fine-tune the most accurate design, the perfect distribution or, simply, which elements should be promoted to communicate those values we want to distinguish our product with: quality, comfort, usability, responsibility, differentiation, etc.

Thank you.
 
  • xxxNEROxxx

    Member
    American-English
    Hi,
    Would you help me with the following? I don't know if the first sentence is correct (gerund and as such) and specially the whole part with fine-tune. I don't know if I can use it in this context.

    Creating a good product is not enough, it should be perceived as such.
    With this aim we study the perceptions of future clients to help you meet their needs and emotions with your products, services and physical places. With techniques such as the emotional engineering we can fine-tune the most accurate design, the perfect distribution or, simply, which elements should be promoted to communicate those values we want to distinguish our product with: quality, comfort, usability, responsibility, differentiation, etc.

    Thank you.
    Hola, it sounds pretty good. The only area I would question slightly would be the second sentence. "With this aim we study the perceptions of future clients to help you meet their needs and emotions...". Depending on what kind of product this is, I might say instead, "...help you meet their needs and stir their emotions...", for example ? Then, "with techniques such as emotional engineering ('the' is not necessary before 'emotional engineering')....".
    The use of "fine-tune" looks good I think.
     

    Franzi

    Senior Member
    (San Francisco) English
    Creating a good product is not enough; it must also be perceived as such. With this aim, we study the perceptions of future clients to help you meet their needs with your products, services and locations. With techniques such as emotional engineering we can fine-tune the designs, find the perfect distribution or, simply, determine which elements should be promoted to communicate those values with which you wish to distinguish your product: quality, comfort, usability, responsibility, differentiation, etc.
    That sounds a bit more natural to me, but I'm not a marketing professional or anything.
     

    cuchuflete

    Senior Member
    EEUU-inglés
    Hi,
    Would you help me with the following? I don't know if the first sentence is correct (gerund and as such) and specially the whole part with fine-tune. I don't know if I can use it in this context.

    Creating a good product is not enough, it should be perceived as such.
    With this aim we study the perceptions of future clients to help you meet their needs and emotions with your products, services and physical places. With techniques such as the emotional engineering we can fine-tune the most accurate design, the perfect distribution or, simply, which elements should be promoted to communicate those values we want to distinguish our product with: quality, comfort, usability, responsibility, differentiation, etc.

    Thank you.
    Hello furie,

    It's pretty awful hype, with little regard for grammar. The first sentence is a bad start.
    You are right to question the gerund and what follows it. What does "it" refer to? If it is
    creating, it's an awful sentence, meaning that creating should be perceived as creating.
    Meeting future clients' emotions? More garbage. Emotional engineering should not have an article in front of it.
     

    johndot

    Senior Member
    English - England
    Hello furie,

    It's pretty awful hype, with little regard for grammar. The first sentence is a bad start.
    You are right to question the gerund and what follows it. What does "it" refer to? If it is
    creating, it's an awful sentence, meaning that creating should be perceived as creating.
    Meeting future clients' emotions? More garbage. Emotional engineering should not have an article in front of it.
    I agree. And we all know where the garbage goes, don’t we?
     

    furie

    Senior Member
    Spain, Spanish
    Why are you so agressive today??? ;-)
    Ok... I'll fix it.

    What do you think of this one:
    It's not enough to just create a good product: it has to be perceived as such.
     
    Last edited:

    cuchuflete

    Senior Member
    EEUU-inglés
    Another day, another opportunity to be aggressive...

    Hello and good morning furie. The sun is out, the daffodils are in bloom, most of the snow has melted, and the sentence is still a mess. It is a translator's task to make gems out of lumps of bituminous rock, flecked with dung, coated in polyurethene, and displayed as performance art. There is a lack of parallelism in the original, and you are struggling nobly to cope with it.

    Suppose we take the disparate ideas one by one, and then see how they might be squeezed into a single sentence:

    1- A good product must be created;
    2- That act of creation, in itself, is inadequate;
    3- The product's quality must be recognized.

    A product's quality must be perceived/appreciated rather than just created.
    Creating a good product is only a beginning. Quality must also be perceived.

    The more I stare at it, the more convinced I become that it needs to be two sentences.
    Perhaps a more competent wordsmith could cram it into one.
     

    AngelEyes

    Senior Member
    English - United States
    Hi furie,

    I like your use of fine-tune. I even like emotional engineering. I also like the idea you're trying to convey in your opening sentence.

    My main problem with the whole thing is that, while the information is all there, it's not clearly and simply stated. The reader loses track of your intended purpose because there's no simple logic to follow.

    Since I believe all advertising is basically nothing more than pretty BS, that's what I think this should be, too. :)

    I read what you wrote, and this is how my brain processed what you were trying to say:

    Creating a good product is not enough, because a product is really only as good as it's perceived to be.

    With this objective in mind, we will study your potential client's personal tastes, needs, and emotional requirements and gear your products, services, and customer conveniences toward these specific demands.

    With our proven emotional engineering techniques, we will fine-tune the most accurate design, the perfect distribution methods, and the most distinguishing elements your product has to offer in all the critical areas a customer seeks: quality, comfort, usability, responsibility, differentiation, etc.
    Is that what you were trying to say?

    AngelEyes

    Note to Cuchu...I love your way with words. I don't even care if I understand them all. I just like the images they provoke sometimes.

    And if you're this blunt with the daffodils in bloom to soothe you, remind me to hide when it storms. :eek:
     
    Last edited:

    Packard

    Senior Member
    USA, English
    "Perceived value" is a recognized phrase in the merchandising business. It means that the product looks and feels like it has excellent value and quality. Manufacturers sometimes add weights to plastic products to improve the "perceived value".

    I might be inclined to use this readily identifiable phrase instead of creating a new one that means essentially the same thing.

    I've also found that businessmen respond to plain talk rather than the flowery spiel that works so well when selling candelabras to women. In plain English I might start with something like this:


    We work to help you improve the perceived value of your product. Our experienced staff can offer suggestions that are easily executed and highly effective in the areas of product design, distribution and marketing. Let our representative sit down with you and work up a plan that will improve sales and profits.
     

    furie

    Senior Member
    Spain, Spanish
    First of all I would like to express my profound gratitude for your help and support. ;) But I would also like to apologise for my “garbage”... I’m not a translator, I’m just a poor journalist who got stuck somewhere in the middle without knowing. I don’t pretend to know what I’m doing but I’m asked to do so... :eek: So thank you all for your comments.​


    The problem I see is that you are all giving the text a heavy commercial/advertising touch... And I wasn’t planning to give such a... How could I say it? American commercial perspective? But maybe I should.​

    I’ll think of everything you have suggested. :confused:
    Thanks...​
     

    AngelEyes

    Senior Member
    English - United States
    Well, now I'm curious. If it's not personally based self-promotion, why is it personalized?

    Example:

    With this aim we study the perceptions of future clients to help you meet their needs and emotions with your products, services and physical places. With techniques such as the emotional engineering we can fine-tune the most accurate design...
    And I don't think your writing is garbage! I hope you didn't get that impression from our posts.

    Back to the concern you just mentioned. Are you saying you're writing a piece that discusses a point of view about how to promote a product?

    I'm really cloudy now as to the goal here.

    AngelEyes
     

    furie

    Senior Member
    Spain, Spanish
    Sorry, sorry.
    This IS self-promotion, but not an advertisement. This is part of a website that adresses companies so that they become partners in an association, but the objective is not to sell a product.
    I just don't want it to be so aggressively commercial...
     

    Packard

    Senior Member
    USA, English
    By joining our association you will be exposed to other members who's ideas will enable you to improve the perceived value of your products and services. Our members have gained insight to improving their products' design, manufacture, distribution and marketing.

    Join our association and learn and share.
     

    cuchuflete

    Senior Member
    EEUU-inglés
    Two acts of creation are needed for successful product marketing. First you create an excellent product. Then you need to create the perception of product excellence among your clientele. That is where we can help. Fade to blue, with segue to an image of a Rolls Royce cruising down the highway of life, AngelEyes at the wheel.
     

    AngelEyes

    Senior Member
    English - United States
    I really like both Packard's and Cuchu's suggestions.

    Now it makes sense to me, furie. Thanks for explaining it in more detail.

    AngelEyes

    Fade to blue again...except I'm in leather on a Harley.
     

    Packard

    Senior Member
    USA, English
    Two acts of creation are needed for successful product marketing. First you create an excellent product. Then you need to create the perception of product excellence among your clientele. That is where we can help. Fade to blue, with segue to an image of a Rolls Royce cruising down the highway of life, AngelEyes at the wheel.

    Fade to blue, with segue to an image of a Red Bentley Continental convertible cruising down the highway of life, AngelEyes at the wheel, her long blond hair blowing in the wind, her eyes wild with the excitement that her meeting Packard later would inevitably bring...

    I always favor specificity over vagaries...
     
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