Fomal letter format concerning introduction of the writer

Discussion in 'English Only' started by kenneth0211, Mar 23, 2015.

  1. kenneth0211 Senior Member

    Hong Kong
    Spanish
    Should that I am Chris Wong, the chairperson of the Student Union be omitted?

    Dear Principle Lee,

    (I am Chris Wong, the chairperson of the Student Union.)I am writing on behalf of Student Union in response to our students to make a request for a locker policy reform.

    CONTENT..............................

    Yours sincerely,

    Chris Wong

    Chris Wong

    The Chairperson of the Student Union
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2015
  2. owlman5

    owlman5 Senior Member

    Colorado
    English-US
    I don't see anything wrong with telling the principal who you are in your first sentence. You probably don't need to do that if you don't want to because you immediately tell the principal that you are writing on behalf of the student union.

    If you tell the principal that you are the chairperson of the student union in your first sentence, you should not repeat that information when you close. "Yours sincerely, Chris Wong" is enough.
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2015
  3. kenneth0211 Senior Member

    Hong Kong
    Spanish
    Is this more neat?
    I am chairperson of the Student Union. I am writing on behalf our students to make a request for a locker policy reform.
    I want to know the most formal way.
     
  4. owlman5

    owlman5 Senior Member

    Colorado
    English-US
    I don't think this version is any more formal than the other version. This second version is a little shorter, so a busy principal might appreciate its brevity.

    Just remember to avoid reminding the principal that you are the chairperson of the student union at the close of the letter. To me, it would be needless and a little silly to repeat that information.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2015
  5. pob14 Senior Member

    Central Illinois
    American English
    I know it's off topic, but since owlman5 has repeated it twice now without commenting: I think you want "principal," not "principle."
     
  6. Cenzontle

    Cenzontle Senior Member

    English, U.S.
    Like owlman, I don't see anything wrong with identifying yourself at the beginning, but
    conventional practice is to let your identity be known by your name and title after your signature.
    In any event, capitalize the title "Chairperson" and omit "the" in front of it.
    Here is how I would write your first sentence:
    And yes, remember that the principal is your "pal".:)
     
  7. kenneth0211 Senior Member

    Hong Kong
    Spanish
    Thank you all of you guys!!!!
     

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