from...<over><to>…to...

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alario101

New Member
German
I was told that there is something wrong with this sentence and I might know what it is but I definitely don't know exactly whether I'm right or wrong so your help with this sentence would be really much appreciated. Thank you in advance.

So, what's your opinion on the following sentence:

The US provides so many different options from learning to live within different cultures and races to feeling the stunning excitement towards sport to realizing the typical American way of living the dream when money does not seem to be something to worry about.


Thank's so much for your help.
 
  • alario101

    New Member
    German
    alright, didn't know - sorry. Well, the construction from - over - to needs to be replaced by from - to - to. What is more, the sentence is far too long and the content is a bit confusing since "when" also is used incorrectly since it's not a temporal clause. Besides, you don't feel excited towards sth. but for sth. That's basically it. Thank you for your quick reply.
     

    Edinburgher

    Senior Member
    German/English bilingual
    the construction from - over - to needs to be replaced by from - to - to
    You mean it the other way round. There is generally no problem with going from A to B to C when these are places, but it doesn't work so well with these abstract "options". Using "from A over B to C" would be worse, unfortunately.

    Yes, it does seem to be too long and rambling and incoherent; one doesn't really know where it's going or (without context) what it's about.

    The word "when" is not so much a problem itself (it does not need to be restricted to temporal situations), but there is no obvious connection between the money clause and the rest.

    We can feel excitement for someone, but about something.

    Where is this from? Is it your own creation or your own translation of something or what?
     

    alario101

    New Member
    German
    Thank you for this comprehensive and accurate analysis.

    It's a sentence one of my friends used for a speech in his class. The teacher came down hard on him for using this sentence without really explaining the problem and that is why he asked me for my opinion.
     

    Cagey

    post mod (English Only / Latin)
    English - US
    You could suggest to your friend that he break the sentence down into smaller and simpler sentences, each focusing on one idea or maybe two. That would be easier for your friend to handle, and is more like normal English. Clarity is more important in English than 'fancy' writing.

    I'll close this thread.

    Cagey,
    moderator
     
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