Such gatherings are very common in the US, in my experience. They're usually either catered or potluck (or a combination), and having lots of leftovers means that the family of the deceased doesn't have to worry about cooking for awhile. (Close friends will probably also continue to bring food for a few weeks.) Sometimes people bring food to these gatherings in disposable containers to make it easy to clean up, but I was taught to bring it in nice dishes with my name on them as a way of keeping in contact -- they have to return the dishes later on (or you can go pick them up), and that's another opportunity to check on how they're doing, chat, figure out what else you can do for them....How common is to host a gathering after the funeral? I mean eating and drinking at the family’s home of the deceased.
Just to give another example from Iraq, when my grandfather died (I remember all the details because at the time we were living with him), he died around 11.30 a.m.; he was washed, taken to the mosque for "the funeral prayer" and buried by 4.00 p.m. the same day.I'm not Christian, so I'll speak of the muslim tradition (in Egypt, I don't about the other countries) just in case anyone would be interested in knowing.
First, we have a proverb (maybe from a religious origin, but I'm not 100% sure) that says : (Ikraam el-mayyet dafno) which means : honoring a dead person is by burrying him/her. Thus when a person dies, the family rushes to finish the paper work (?) -that is the burrial permission- as quickly as possible, so they can honor their beloved one.
Before the burrial, the corpse is taken to a mosque, people make a certain prayer (called salaat al-janaza "the funeral prayer"), than take the person to his/her grave (sorry, I can't remember any of the literary expressions about this subject).
After the burrial, there's a sort of "condolence ceremony" (couldn't find a better translation ) where people go offer their condolencens/ sympathies to the family.
As you see, this is very different from the Western costum of the wake, which by the way I first learned about in Camus' L'Etranger, and of course you can tell for yourselves that we can't have here because it goes absolutely against our tradition in "honoring our death".
That's a new one to me. I've never heard of anyone doing that. Certainly among all my family and friends, the funeral has been much as described in my earlier post.I know here in England, you can still have the "deceased" home before the funeral, but as to whether the casket is open or closed I've no idea. I've never been to anyones home who has done this, although in recent years I've arranged two funerals and know it was an option.
Here is a link that I've managed to find. It may be interesting to you.That's a new one to me. I've never heard of anyone doing that. Certainly among all my family and friends, the funeral has been much as described in my earlier post.
Funerals in Brazil usually take place between 24 to 36 hours after the death. The wake generally occurs at the house of dead person's family, unless the house is too small or they live in an apartment, and the casket remains open most of the times, except in cases where the body is injured due to a traumatic death or deformed/emaciated by a long illness. The house is cleared of most furniture to accommodate the mourners, and decorated with flowers. The family receives many flower wreaths with banners on which is written a message and the name of the family who sent it. Candles are also lit by the casket, generally two or four, and they burn throughout the wake until the casket is taken away --it's a catholic tradition, but actually even non-catholics light candles at wakes in Brazil. Most families will take religious icons to the room where the dead body is being mourned: images of the Virgem Maria and the Crucifix are the most commonly seen in such occasions. There usually isn't a lot of eating and drinking, but people are always served coffee, tea, water and light refreshments, often provided by the neighbours if the family doesn't have servants. The saddest time at a wake is when the casket is closed to be taken away from the family home to the church --it's when people realize that their loved one is going for good. As the casket is being closed, mourners sometimes sing farewell religious hymns. It's not uncommon for relatives and close friends to cry profusely at this moment. In small towns the casket is taken to the church in a kind of procession; young male members of the family and friends take turns carrying it. As the procession leaves the family's house, the church bells toll and shopkeepers shut their doors as it passes the street (it is considered a major insult to the family if a shopkeeper maintains the doors of his shop open as a funereal procession passes by). Once inside the church, the casket is opened once more for the last funerary rites (the Requiem Mass), which take but a few minutes. Then the procession proceeds to the cemetery where the corpse is buried. Wealthier families will bury their relatives in large marble tombs. Some of these tombs boast columns and sculptures; some are real chambers and look like chapels, stained-glass windows and all. But these are the more traditional cemeteries; nowadays you will find cemeteries which look like golf courses: vast lawns with graves marked by small horizontal gravestones. These cemeteries can be very beautiful, with large trees and shaded paths like parks. There usually isn't any gathering after the burial. Almost as important as the funeral itself, though, is what we call Missa do Sétimo Dia (Seventh Day Mass), which is a Mass celebrated in memory of the deceased. This Mass is usually attended by all those who, for some reason, couldn't attend the funeral (which, as I mentioned earlier, usually happens within 36 hours after the death).
That's very interesting.You all described burials in your country in great detail! Well, I 'd like to talk more about the burial of my grandpa.
And after more or less 3 days, Taoist priests or monks, or in some cases, both Taoist priests and monks prayed.
The day of burial was rather simple to the preceding ceremonines. Having buried the body, we went back to have a dinner, or banquet. The dinner resembled the wedding meal, except that the decorations were black and white.
I have seen those chairs too (in the movies of course ) My interpretation is that they are for the elderly people as they are so sad that they can barely stand.
With us it's funnily similar to the Irish it appears. First of all it's often a few days between death and service (I guess low decomposition rate in the cold climate). The funeral service is a celebration of the person's life and reflection of (usually) the happier memories, etc. In the case of my mum's funeral in 2006 her favorite songs were played, one to a montage of photos from young to old and showing off the 'big' events (like holiday snaps).A good Irish funeral will have a bit of life to it! (Sorry about that! )
There will be stories told of the dead person - usually aimed at getting a smile out of the mourners, and in families which are accustomed to singing, someone may sing a song the deceased was fond of.
These things are done to assure the family that the non-family who are there shared their opinions of the deceased, and may even have known aspects of them which the family did not. I learned a few things when my Dad died.
As I said earlier, an Irish funeral is about celebrating the life of the deceased.
Let us not forget that funeral rituals are rarely about the deceased, they are about consoling the bereaved.
In rural communities usually the casket is delivered to the deceased house and left in a room (emptied of all furniture except chairs), so friends and neighbours can sit and speak to the family. The casket may be open or closed: if the person died peacefully, it's usually left open, but if the person died in a car crash, for instance, the case will be closed.
In cities this is not possible; many hospitals have their own, I don't know if this is correct, funereal rooms? where the people who have died at the hospital are taken.
There are also crematories, as scattering the ashes is becoming quite common.
And there is also, of course, the possibility of leaving your body to the University so medical students can practice with it.
There are not many cemeteries for pets. Either you bury them yourself if you live in the country, or you take them to the vet to be cremated.
That is similar to the practice in Israel, except that caskets are used very rarely. The only time I know caskets are always used is for soldiers.Also, I forgot to say that we don't bury our deceased in caskets, which are only used to "transport" the body from the house/hospital/morgue... to the grave. Bodies are wrapped with cloth (a bit like a mummy), and are burried in their shroud, not the casket.
Actually, Grey Fox's description of a velatorio is precisely the usual wake in the US, too (my description above of Quaker funerals notwithstanding), and I was surprised to read that it is not done that way in the UK. I guess there is no single standard for wakes in the English-speaking world.For a start, the "velatorio" is before the funeral ... All and sundry turn up to "pay their respects", both to the mourners and to the deceased - the coffin may be still open or already closed. ...It's quite a social thing, a lot of "being seen" and "being seen to be doing the right thing" by attending, if only briefly to mumble something clumsily to the bereaved and sidle up to the coffin and bow one's head reverently.
The family generally install themselves in a "family room" at the funeral parlour to be able to be on hand to receive all-comers and wait for the time appointed for the funeral ....
Maybe. But joy is not the best that is in the world, is it? Maybe this is why people don't laugh to death at funerals. They remember what is good.I believe that when somebody dies people shouldn't cry or mourn that person in a funeral, they should throw a party, wear colorful clothes, play joyful music, laugh and bid farewell to that person with joy remembering them with great, funny and happy memories. No sad faces, no crying. And if the person wants to cry because they'll miss them they should do it alone at home for themselves.
a bit about the actual burial & gravesite traditions in Argentina
Do you have a burial in the earth with a headstone or above ground in a crypt or cremation? The three are normal usages
Who attends the burial ceremony - only family or everyone? Everyone who wants, it's usually published in the local newspapers (or even broadcasted!)
How often do people visit the burial sites? once a week? never?