(Given) the way Egyptians like ... I'm not surprised...

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Couch Tomato

Senior Member
Russian & Dutch
The way Egyptians like to make money out of everything I'm surprised the tourist board hasn't advertised it as 'A day out in a sandstorm. The ultimate exfoliating experience.'
(An Idiot Abroad: The Travel Diaries of Karl Pilkington - Karl Pilkington)

Would this sentence be improved if I added "given": Given the way Egyptians like to make money out of everything, I'm surprised the tourist board hasn't advertised it as 'A day out in a sandstorm. The ultimate exfoliating experience.'

I have the sense that the original sentence is missing a word, but perhaps it's just me. For me, it doesn't quite work because the two parts "The way... of everything" and "I'm surprised... it as" don't seem properly connected.

But perhaps it's just me... :confused:

What do you think?

Thank you in advance.
 
  • Loob

    Senior Member
    English UK
    I think that
    (1) I would probably add a comma to your original sentence: The way Egyptians like to make money out of everything, I'm surprised the tourist board hasn't advertised it as 'A day out in a sandstorm'.
    (2) It looks fine to me as informal spoken English.
    (3) In writing, I might well add your "Given..."
    :)
     

    suzi br

    Senior Member
    English / England
    This is meant to be funny and in the style of a diary, so the original has a spoken-style quality which works best as it is. Your addition makes it more formal and thus at odds with the slightly irreverant (racist?) tone of the piece.
     

    Tazzler

    Senior Member
    American English
    This is an example of a topic-comment structure, not really common in English or many European languages. You say something, then you say something that complements what has just been said. There doesn't even have to be a formal link between the topic and the comment, as in here.

    If "given" (which is correct) comes across as too formal for the spoken quality of the text as a whole a common equivalent would be "with": "with the way". But as is obvious you don't even need anything in that spot.
     
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