''Great Barrier Reef Marine Park''

kenny4528

Senior Member
Mandarin, Taiwan
Hi all,

Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ, the park's eduacation center. Reef HQ, the world's largest living coral reef aquarium, gives visitors a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem.
This is taken from ''Great Barrier Reef Marine Park''.

I think the second Reef HQ is kind of wordy, so rewrite the whole paragraph to:

Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ, the park's eduacation center and the world's largest living coral reef aquarium, gives visitors a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem.

Would it sound better to you? Or it's just a matter of taste?

Thanks.
 
  • nzseries1

    Senior Member
    New Zealand - English
    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ, the park's education center and the world's largest living coral reef aquarium, which gives visitors a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem.

    I would add in "which" (and note the spelling of education). Some people might argue that you should replace "which" with "that", but that sounded awkward to me.
     

    nzseries1

    Senior Member
    New Zealand - English
    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ, the park's education center and the world's largest living coral reef aquarium, which gives visitors a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem.

    I would add in "which" (and note the spelling of education). Some people might argue that you should replace "which" with "that", but that sounded awkward to me.
    On second thought, don't say "guests" followed by "visitors". I would say:

    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ, the park's education center and the world's largest living coral reef aquarium, which gives them a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem.
     

    nzseries1

    Senior Member
    New Zealand - English
    Thanks, nzseries1

    As far as I know, which in this case is optional, right?
    I would say it's not optional. Consider removing the section between the commas:

    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ which gives them a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem. :tick:

    Removing "which" gives the following:

    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ gives them a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem. :cross:

    I can't say why it's wrong, I just know it is :)
     

    nzseries1

    Senior Member
    New Zealand - English
    Ummm... Do you mean the original sentence is also wrong?:confused:
    No, the original sentence is correct. Consider removing the same information from the original sentence:

    "Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ. Reef HQ gives visitors a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem."

    Compare that with the last erroneous sentence:

    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ gives them a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem.

    The problem with the last sentence is that "Reef HQ" can't refer to what guests shouldn't miss out on, and also what gives them a fish-eye view. You need to qualify for a second time exactly what gives them the view.

    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ which gives them a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem. :tick:
    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ. It gives them a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem. :tick:
    Last but not least, guests shouldn't miss out on a visit to Reef HQ. Reef HQ gives them a fish-eye view of the coral ecosystem. :tick:
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top