having received a positive feedback

marcbatco

Senior Member
Italian-Italy
Hi, I would please ask you if the expression in bold is correct in the following (or, you would suggest a different expression):
I found that experience very rewarding because it both allowed me to demonstrate and further develop my organizational and public relations skills and, having received a positive feedback from the senior manager for my commitment, represented a first positive step into the work world.
 
  • dojibear

    Senior Member
    English - Northeast US
    "Feedback" is an uncountable noun. You can write "I received positive feedback" or "I received some positive feedback", but you can't use "a/an/the" with "feedback".
     

    marcbatco

    Senior Member
    Italian-Italy
    If you eliminate the indefinite article "a" before "positive feedback", the phrase will be entirely normal.
    "Feedback" is an uncountable noun. You can write "I received positive feedback" or "I received some positive feedback", but you can't use "a/an/the" with "feedback".
    Hi owlman5 and dojibear, and thank you for your suggestions. Do you think that I should be included in ... having I received a positive feedback from ...?
     

    lingobingo

    Senior Member
    English - England
    The sentence is far too long and complicated.

    • It's unwise to have three sets of pairs in it:

    both allowed me to demonstrate etc. and represented a first step etc.
    demonstrate and further develop
    organizational and public relations skills

    • It repeats "positive".

    • And although the bold phrase may be "entirely normal" if you zap the indefinite article, it's in effect a dangling clause. Grammatically, the word "having" refers to "that experience", which is not what you mean. The clause would work better as e.g.: and, in view of the positive feedback I received from the senior manager for my commitment, represented a first positive step into the work world. Something else may be more applicable than "in view of", but you don't explain what the experience was.
     

    owlman5

    Senior Member
    English-US
    Hi owlman5 and dojibear, and thank you for your suggestions. Do you think that I should be included in ... having I received a positive feedback from ...?
    You're welcome. The phrase in that sentence is fine without "I", marc. You will destroy that phrase if you try to stuff "I" in there.
     

    marcbatco

    Senior Member
    Italian-Italy
    The sentence is far too long and complicated.

    • It's unwise to have three sets of pairs in it:

    both allowed me to demonstrate etc. and represented a first step etc.
    demonstrate and further develop
    organizational and public relations skills

    • It repeats "positive".

    • And although the bold phrase may be "entirely normal" if you zap the indefinite article, it's in effect a dangling clause. Grammatically, the word "having" refers to "that experience", which is not what you mean. The clause would work better as e.g.: and, in view of the positive feedback I received from the senior manager for my commitment, represented a first positive step into the work world. Something else may be more applicable than "in view of", but you don't explain what the experience was.
    Thank you, lingobingo, for your reply. Incorporating your suggestions, I would rephrase it as follows:
    I found that experience very rewarding because it allowed me to demonstrate and further develop my organizational and public relations skills. In view of the positive feedback I received from the senior manager for my commitment, it represented a first confident step into the work world.
    What do you think?
     
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