Hola carino [cariño]

Jay1991

New Member
French
Hello! I'm in a long distance relationship with a girl from Puerto Rico. And last time she showed me a conversation with a guy that she talk since last year (a bit more) and that she thought at first he was interested for more than friendship. Because he seemed so excited to know her etc. But she also told me that he never flirted explicitly. Not even one time. She also never reciprocated the interest and made it clear she did want only a friendship. Plus she told me that they talk way less since a while and that he probably just had a little crush at first but got over it. But last time she showed me a screenshot of a conversation with him. They talk English but the guy started the message by "Hola carino!". I didn't know it and translated it. And I saw it meant stuff like "honey, sweetheart" etc. So I got paranoid and asked her but she said that it was very common, especially in Puerto Rico, to say that and it's in a friend way. That of course it can be used for more, but that it's extremely common to use it in a friendly way, that it's not flirty at all, that even cashier or waiter could say that to clients etc. And that she was very sure he doesn't have feelings anymore, never said anything weird etc.
She is someone really honest and not a liar. But I still worry a bit to be honest. So is it true that carino can be friendly and nothing flirty or weird? Thanks to have read!
 
  • boroman

    Senior Member
    Español - España
    Hola,
    cariño (y corazón) se emplea en nuestra cultura fuera del sentido de tener una relación, puede utilizarlo hasta una cajera de supermercado con un cliente. Una persona que ha quedado en la friendzone, como parece ser el caso de este post, puede ser llamado cariño muchas veces.
     
    Last edited:

    Jay1991

    New Member
    French
    Hello! Thank you for your quick and very clear answer! So yeah she was right and I worried for nothing. I'm glad to hear that! Have a nice day!
     

    Cerros de Úbeda

    Senior Member
    UK
    Spanish - Spain (Galicia)
    Es un término coloquial muy común.

    Una palabra de sentido apreciativo, que se usa como comodín. Se emplea como apelativo, o como vocativo, en una gama de significados que pueden ir de la simple familiaridad a la amistad, o indicar un grado de mayor relación, cuando se usa entre familiares o parejas. En estos casos, puede usarse tanto en las situaciones generales, de la relación general de pareja, o en las más íntimas, de las relaciones sexuales.

    Así que, cubre un campo de usos muy variado, desde las relaciones sociales generales, a los conocidos, y desde las relaciones familiares, a las más íntimas, de pareja.

    Igual que "corazón", como dice boroman. Son muy parecidas, e intercambiables;

    - Cariño / Querido/a
    - Dear

    - Corazón
    - Darling


    Las cartas se empiezan con frecuencia con "Querido/a + nombre: ", igual que en inglés se dice "Dear + name, ".

    Por cierto, que es curiosa la diferencia en la puntuación de los idiomas: en español, "dos puntos", en inglés, "coma".
     
    Last edited:

    Rodal

    Senior Member
    Castellano (Chile)
    Jamás emplearía este término de cariño con una amiga que está comprometida y tiene una relación a distancia con alguien. Es una falta de respeto total.

    Solo la usaría entre amistades solteras y quizás como trato amable hacia un niño. Nada más. Hablarle así a una amiga es un acto de coquetería y fácilmente se puede mal interpretar. Esto es cierto en todo el mundo hispano.

    En lugares donde es común decir cariño y amor entre desconocidos se comprende mientras no se sepa que la persona está comprometida, sin embargo es responsabilidad de la chicha informarle al individuo que está comprometida y que no le gusta que le llamen cariño salvo que lo haga su novio. Esto es algo que perfectamente puede manejar la chica y que el novio puede pedir que se cumpla. Especialmente cuando se trata de dos culturas distintas donde ambos deben hacer concesiones para no faltarse al respeto y afianzar la confianza de una relación a distancia. Debe existir compromiso y sin no existe respeto en una relación es difícil llevarla a buen puerto.

    Buena suerte.
     

    nanel

    Senior Member
    Spanish - Spain
    Aquí en España es muy diferente, Rodal, como ya han indicado mis compatriotas.

    Yo tengo una compañera que por defecto llama a todo el mundo "cariño" y no significa nada especial. También tuve otra que constantemente te llamaba "cielo". Es cariñoso, pero se lo puedes decir a cualquiera, independientemente de que tenga pareja o no. Yo personalmente sólo lo usaría con niños, pero hay mucha gente que usa estos términos muchísimo.

    En Puerto Rico no sé cómo funcionará, pero por lo que dice la chica, parece que igual que aquí.
     

    Rodal

    Senior Member
    Castellano (Chile)
    Aquí en España es muy diferente, Rodal, como ya han indicado mis compatriotas.

    Yo tengo una compañera que por defecto llama a todo el mundo "cariño" y no significa nada especial. También tuve otra que constantemente te llamaba "cielo". Es cariñoso, pero se lo puedes decir a cualquiera, independientemente de que tenga pareja o no. Yo personalmente sólo lo usaría con niños, pero hay mucha gente que usa estos términos muchísimo.

    En Puerto Rico no sé cómo funcionará, pero por lo que dice la chica, parece que igual que aquí.
    Si claro, hay países donde es común hablar así sin embargo también he oído que a algunas chicas (sobre todo las comprometidas) no les gusta que les digan así y está perfectamente permitido que se lo haga saber a la persona para que esta persona tenga esta consideración con ella de no llamarla de un modo que a ella le incomoda, sobre todo si tiene un novio extranjero que todavía no entiende la cultura y le pide que tenga esta consideración con él. A mí me parece que es mucho pedirle a un extranjero que se adapte a esta situación tan ambigua que puede mal interpretarse fácilmente sobre todo cuando existe una distancia importante. Sería diferente si ambos vivieran en el mismo país. Creo que si el amigo se atreve a llamar a su amiga "cariño" en frente de su novio (estando ella con el novio en cuerpo presente) entonces él entendería al fin que no se trata de una coquetería. Pero el hecho de que esto sucede a sus espaldas es muy complicado de entender y aceptar y descartar por completo de que exista un interés sexual.

    Me atrevería a decir que incluso en España, las personas que usan este término se abstienen de usarlo con mujeres que están acompañas (¿me equivoco?) y si es así entonces quiere decir que sí existe un grado de coquetería en este trato tan cordial que forma parte de vuestra cultura.

    Aclaro que esta no es una crítica sino que es solo una observación. Yo mismo, siendo chileno no comprendía este detalle hasta que me pasó.
    Tuve una novia de una región de Colombia donde todo el mundo se llama amor entre sí (Armenia, Quindío). Esto me hizo pensar que la chica me amaba y facilitó que nos conciéramos muy rápidamente. Estando allá en su pueblo me di cuenta que hasta en el bus la gente se llamaba amor del mismo modo que nosotros decimos señor y señora. Fue un balde de agua fría para mí puesto que entendí que la chica no me amaba realmente sino que lo decía por costumbre.. Nínguno de los dos tuvo la culpa sin embargo esto cambió la dinámica de la relación puesto que le restó para siempre la importancia que yo le daba a la palabra amor y de llamar amor solamente a mi novia, estando con ella.
     
    Last edited:

    nanel

    Senior Member
    Spanish - Spain
    Bueno, es que la mayoría de las personas que lo usan son mujeres, y lo usan sin importarles si la otra persona está o no acompañada por su pareja. En hombres, aquí es raro y sonaría afeminado.

    Pero en España solemos ser menos cariñosos con el lenguaje que en el otro lado del charco. Ahora que lo pienso, recuerdo que lo usaron conmigo en alguna parte de Centroamérica, sin segundas y estando acompañada de mi marido. Ambos lo vimos normal allí.
     

    Rodal

    Senior Member
    Castellano (Chile)
    Bueno, es que la mayoría de las personas que lo usan son mujeres, y lo usan sin importarles si la otra persona está o no acompañada por su pareja. En hombres, aquí es raro y sonaría afeminado.

    Pero en España solemos ser menos cariñosos con el lenguaje que en el otro lado del charco. Ahora que lo pienso, recuerdo que lo usaron conmigo en alguna parte de Centroamérica, sin segundas y estando acompañada de mi marido. Ambos lo vimos normal allí.
    Es cierto; es mucho más normal entre mujeres.
     

    Jay1991

    New Member
    French
    Bueno, es que la mayoría de las personas que lo usan son mujeres, y lo usan sin importarles si la otra persona está o no acompañada por su pareja. En hombres, aquí es raro y sonaría afeminado.

    Pero en España solemos ser menos cariñosos con el lenguaje que en el otro lado del charco. Ahora que lo pienso, recuerdo que lo usaron conmigo en alguna parte de Centroamérica, sin segundas y estando acompañada de mi marido. Ambos lo vimos normal allí.
    Oh, so people told you "carino" even though you were with your husband? So you mean that it's very common and without the flirty meaning?
     

    Rodal

    Senior Member
    Castellano (Chile)
    Oh, so people told you "carino" even though you were with your husband? So you mean that it's very common and without the flirty meaning?
    I can only see this happening among women, not from a male to an accompanied woman or from a woman to an accompanied male.
     

    Jay1991

    New Member
    French
    Thank you all for your answers. Also, Rodal, I forgot to say that our relationship is pretty new (we will meet this summer) and that it's her first relationship. And she didn't say to everyone that she was dating since it's new for her and we both wait to be in person to see.
    But she clearly told me that it was really in a friend way. That it was so common there. So I asked if maybe the guy said "carino" in a friend way maybe, but also to be a bit flirty, and she said she was sure he didn't, that he never been weird etc. I try to trust her but it's very difficult to really believe that carino could be said 100% in a friend way and with no other intentions behind... But like I said, she is not perfect but she is pretty honest. And it would have bothered her too if he was flirty with her. So I guess she is right when she says that he says it only as a friend.
    Plus, she showed me that on her own. She was telling me something about him, and then sent the screenshot because something was funny in it. But if she wasn't honest, she would have hidden the part where he says carino. She easily could have kept the pic for her but she showed me. So I guess I should believe her when she says that in PR it's really different than Spain and that carino doesn't really means the same. I still don't like that to be honest but I'll try to not focus on that and trust the answers above, that tell me that she says the truth
     

    Jay1991

    New Member
    French
    I can only see this happening among women, not from a male to an accompanied woman or from a woman to an accompanied male.
    Yeah but the thing is that he probably didn't know she was in couplé. So then, maybe it was really not in a disrespectful way, and not in a flirty way either? I hope not
     

    Rodal

    Senior Member
    Castellano (Chile)
    Yeah but the thing is that he probably didn't know she was in couplé. So then, maybe it was really not in a disrespectful way, and not in a flirty way either? I hope not
    True. But like I said, if guys refrain from making these comments in the presence of their significant other, doesn't that tell you something about the flirting nature of the word? how do you know this word doesn't become something more than something casual? specially when they say it in order to build rapport with you. Perhaps flirting is part of the culture but culture or not, it is still flirtatious to say such things.

    If you look it up, cariño means sweetheart, and the definition of sweetheart is a person with whom someone is having a romantic relationship.

    Knowing this, would you use his term loosely with someone you don't know or perhaps with someone you don't like? or would you only use it with someone you wouldn't mind having a romantic relationship with? I wonder if there is any discriminatory pattern used here and if there is, then that is considered flirting.
     
    Last edited:

    Jay1991

    New Member
    French
    True. But like I said, if guys refrain from making these comments in the presence of their significant other, doesn't that tell you something about the flirting nature of the word? how do you know this word doesn't become something more than something casual? specially when they say it in order to build rapport with you. Perhaps flirting is part of the culture but culture or not, it is still flirtatious to say such things.

    If you look it up, cariño means sweetheart, and the definition of sweetheart is a person with whom someone is having a romantic relationship.

    Knowing this, would you use his term loosely with someone you don't know or perhaps with someone you don't like? or would you only use it with someone you wouldn't mind having a romantic relationship with? I wonder if there is any discriminatory pattern used here and if there is, then that is considered flirting.
    Oh, you make me worry so much right now :(
    I don't know what to believe. Because I asked her specifically that. I told her that online it says it means sweetheart etc. But she said that in PR it's very different and common. And that there it's really used à lot in a friendly way. And again, she really is not a liar so when she says that, I'm sure it's true. Plus she really doesn't like when people flirt with her (she is asexual and doesn't like that guys hit on her). So I tend to trust her when she tells me that. Especially because, again, she showed me the message on her own, without me asking anything. So, even if I'm paranoid about it, I still trust her. But the reason I feel bad it's that I worry she is naive and that maybe the guy still tries something... I asked her that too and she said "I thought he was interested at the very beginning but I made it clear I didn't want a relationship. And he never said anything weird, flirted explicitly etc. It's been a bit more than one year and he never said anything, we don't talk a lot so why would he say that in a flirty way if he knows I don't want a rs, never seemed interested, and that it's been a year since I thought he was a bit interested" and she is right about that.. He also takes a while to answer her sometimes. I guess that if he was flirty and wanted more now, he would talk regularly to her and not wait 2 or 3 weeks between each messages.
    But I'll see in person. I know she doesn't lie but honestly if I see or feel that the guy was really flirty, I would just end the relationship because I don't feel like trusting her again. And even if I know she wouldn't do anything bad, I won't feel comfortable thinking she might be blind when a guy flirts.
    But again, maybe she is 100% right and it was only in a friend way.
    I don't know, is there some people from PR who can confirm that there they say "carino" a lot and in a friend way?
     

    boroman

    Senior Member
    Español - España
    Hola, olvidaba decir que cariño se emplea también hacia los niños.
    Hello, I forgot to say that cariño is also used towards children.
     

    Rodal

    Senior Member
    Castellano (Chile)
    Oh, you make me worry so much right now :(
    I don't know what to believe. Because I asked her specifically that. I told her that online it says it means sweetheart etc. But she said that in PR it's very different and common. And that there it's really used à lot in a friendly way. And again, she really is not a liar so when she says that, I'm sure it's true. Plus she really doesn't like when people flirt with her (she is asexual and doesn't like that guys hit on her). So I tend to trust her when she tells me that. Especially because, again, she showed me the message on her own, without me asking anything. So, even if I'm paranoid about it, I still trust her. But the reason I feel bad it's that I worry she is naive and that maybe the guy still tries something... I asked her that too and she said "I thought he was interested at the very beginning but I made it clear I didn't want a relationship. And he never said anything weird, flirted explicitly etc. It's been a bit more than one year and he never said anything, we don't talk a lot so why would he say that in a flirty way if he knows I don't want a rs, never seemed interested, and that it's been a year since I thought he was a bit interested" and she is right about that.. He also takes a while to answer her sometimes. I guess that if he was flirty and wanted more now, he would talk regularly to her and not wait 2 or 3 weeks between each messages.
    But I'll see in person. I know she doesn't lie but honestly if I see or feel that the guy was really flirty, I would just end the relationship because I don't feel like trusting her again. And even if I know she wouldn't do anything bad, I won't feel comfortable thinking she might be blind when a guy flirts.
    But again, maybe she is 100% right and it was only in a friend way.
    I don't know, is there some people from PR who can confirm that there they say "carino" a lot and in a friend way?
    Don't worry too much, just take note of it. Even in countries where these words are used loosely it is not acceptable to say them in front of their significant others, and that should raise a flag immediately, if it's not OK to say in front of your significant other, does that mean this guy is single and hitting on my girlfriend?~ well take it with a gain of salt. The guy has been saying this to her for a year and he has not asked her out yet, probably because he knows she's with you. Should you be worried? Not really because you should be able to trust your girlfriend and if she can be faithful to you in this environment, then she definitely loves you, that is very reassuring. But if you are the jealous type then you should let her know that you feel uncomfortable with this cultural aspect, that you trust her but would rather not know, and that way she can handle it on her own knowing that it bothers you and avoiding this uncomfortable situations for you. You shouldn't have go through this alone. If she loves you, she will understand. Talk to her.
     
    Last edited:

    Jay1991

    New Member
    French
    Hola, olvidaba decir que cariño se emplea también hacia los niños.
    Hello, I forgot to say that cariño is also used towards children.
    Hola! But in my case, do you think what she tells me can be true? That it's also for friend and that she is sure he means it in a friend way? I was reassuring earlier but with the other answers I start worrying a lot that maybe it's not in a friend way there and something still flirty
     

    Jay1991

    New Member
    French
    Don't worry too much, just take note of it. Even in countries where these words are used loosely it is not acceptable to say them in front of their significant others, and that should raise a flag immediately, if it's not OK to say in front of your significant other, does that mean this guy is single and hitting on my girlfriend?~ well take it with a gain of salt. The guy has been saying this to her for a year and he has not asked her out yet, probably because he knows she's with you. Should you be worried? Not really because you should be able to trust your girlfriend and if she can be faithful to you in this environment, then she definitely loves you, that is very reassuring. But if you are the jealous type then you should let her know that you feel uncomfortable with this cultural aspect, that you trust her but would rather not know, and that way she can handle it on her own knowing that it bothers you and avoiding this uncomfortable situations for you. I don't think you should have go through this alone. If she loves you, she will understand.
    Oh no I'm really pretty sure he doesn't know she is with me. They are friend but not very close friend. And since it's her first rs, she didn't say it to à lot of people yet.
    And no, I'm not really jealous. Well maybe a tiny bit like every one. I do trust her so much, I don't worry about it. I know she wouldn't let someone flirts with her etc. So yeah I really do trust her. I'm just afraid she is blind and naive. But we will see!
     

    Magazine

    Senior Member
    Español-España.
    Cariño in Spain is perfectly common. I am a man and can say "Hola cariño" to the shop assistant I know well, to children, to a workmate I am friendly with..


    We also say "cielo, guapa" in this way, even though you might not know the woman and she might be ugly, you still say hola guapa.

    It is not what you say but the way you say it.

    However...Jay, let's analyse: she took a SCREENSHOT from her conversation, that already tells you that there is nothing to it, my friend. ;)Trust me , if she had any kind of "relationship" with this guy, she would not have done that.
     

    Rodal

    Senior Member
    Castellano (Chile)
    Cariño in Spain is perfectly common. I am a man and can say "Hola cariño" to the shop assistant I know well, to children, to a workmate I am friendly with..


    We also say "cielo, guapa" in this way, even though you might not know the woman and she might be ugly, you still say hola guapa.

    It is not what you say but the way you say it.

    However...Jay, let's analyse: she took a SCREENSHOT from her conversation, that already tells you that there is nothing to it, my friend. ;)Trust me , if she had any kind of "relationship" with this guy, she would not have done that.
    Right, but, since Jay said she's naive, maybe she doesn't know he's been flirting with her for a year. That's why Jay is so worried.

    ~ Jay: I say this is a good test for both of you to prove each other you love one another. Next time you see her give her a ring so that she can flash it in front of her friend next time he sees her; this way the next time he calls her cariño, cielo, guapa, sabrá que no existe posibilidad alguna de slair con ella. Si su comportamiento cambia después del anillo entonces sabrán que era coquetería, si el compartimento sigue, sabrán que solo fue camaradería.

    De cualquier modo háblenlo y decídanlo juntos. No permitas que este pensamiento contamine tu mente.
     

    Jay1991

    New Member
    French
    Cariño in Spain is perfectly common. I am a man and can say "Hola cariño" to the shop assistant I know well, to children, to a workmate I am friendly with..


    We also say "cielo, guapa" in this way, even though you might not know the woman and she might be ugly, you still say hola guapa.

    It is not what you say but the way you say it.

    However...Jay, let's analyse: she took a SCREENSHOT from her conversation, that already tells you that there is nothing to it, my friend. ;)Trust me , if she had any kind of "relationship" with this guy, she would not have done that.
    Okay that reassures me that you tell me that it's common and can be used in this way. And yeah the fact she sent me the screen is a proof that she is honest. But like Rodal said, I'm more worried that she is naive and sure that he says that as a friend but that in fact he still tries to flirt. But anyway, there is no way to be sure of it. The most important is that I know that she is honest and doesn't flirt. And also that cariño can be totally innocent. For the rest I'll see in person. Since I already told her last time about that, I don't want to bring again the topic with her and make a drama! So I'll wait to be in person cause it's always way easier to understand each other!
    Anyway, thank you, all of you! I didn't expect such quick and detailed answers, thanks to have taken the time to read my messages and answered the best you could do! 😁
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top