How offensive is the word 'dumb'?

[marsbeing]

My girlfriend, who is American, was offended today when I said to her 'Don't be dumb'. This is not something I expected. Is the word as strong as 'stupid'? I always thought it was milder.

Also, are there any milder alternatives for this word? Thanks for your help.

 

[natkretep]

OK, 'dumb' meaning something like 'silly'. I think in informal contexts and to someone you are close to, it isn't very offensive.

There's also 'dumb' meaning 'unable to speak'. That seems to have become offensive, and people use terms like 'mute' now.

 

[LVRBC]

I think the word and the concept are going to be offensive when addressed to to your girlfriend, regardless of how you express it. Dumb is milder than stupid, but still far from acceptable.

 

[marsbeing]

I see. Thanks for the feedback, Natkretep and LVRBC. It seems I'd better avoid it. But I was wondering if there're any alternative expressions that I can use...

 

[dojibear]

Is the word as strong as 'stupid'?

The word "dumb" is identical to the word "stupid". In fact, the word "stupid" is a definition of the word "dumb".
See definition #1:

dumb - WordReference.com Dictionary of English

Also, are there any milder alternatives for this word?

What are you trying to say? Do you want to say "you are a stupid idiot dumbell", but in a nice way?

 

[Uncle Jack]

Some words are charged with a far stronger meaning than the their dictionary definitions. There has, unfortunately, been a long history of characterising women as being somehow inferior to men, and "dumb" was (and unfortunately still is) one of the most common words used in this respect. I don't think everyone is sensitive to this use, but perhaps your girlfriend is, and it is a word best avoided.

 

[elroy]

My girlfriend, who is American, was offended today when I said to her 'Don't be dumb'.

Whether this phrase is offensive depends on 1) the context and 2) the relationship between the two people. There are many situations in which it would be offensive.

'dumb' meaning something like 'silly'.

Maybe this is a US/UK difference. In US English, it doesn’t mean “silly”; it means “stupid.”

 

[marsbeing]

Thank you so much, everyone. Now I understand why my girlfriend felt horrible. Will avoid it as advised.

 

[Ikwik64]

My girlfriend, who is American, was offended today when I said to her 'Don't be dumb'.

I have noticed that in AmE "dumb" can sometimes mean "ignorant" rather than "stupid".
For instance, I have heard Americans say that not reading books will make you "dumb".
Doesn't make it any more or less offensive though.

 

[elroy]

For instance, I have heard Americans say that not reading books will make you "dumb".

It still means "stupid" there. Maybe it's stupidity due to ignorance, but it's stupidity nonetheless.

 

[Le Gallois bilingue]

The word dumb is grossly offensive when it is synonymous with stupid. Those who are part of the “deaf and dumb” community would not thank you for using the word dumb in that sense. Indeed, we too,in the wider community, should remember that such language is discriminatory and disrespectful.Confine the use of this word to the dustbin of history.

 

[elroy]

Those who are part of the “deaf and dumb” community would not thank you for using the word dumb in that sense.

This is another important point! For the same reason, I try to avoid using the word "lame" in its non-literal sense, but I struggle with that sometimes because I think it conveys a very specific meaning, and I don't have a handy alternative. Maybe I'll start a thread on this!

 

[kentix]

Dumb is often okay when describing things but much less okay when describing people.

Ideas are often described as dumb and mechanical gadgets also.

"It was a dumb idea to park under that tree. Now my car is covered with bird droppings."

"My dumb car didn't start again today. It's getting to be a real problem."

 

[marsbeing]

Thanks for further feedback, everybody. This is much appreciated.

 

[marsbeing]

BTW, a good alternative, which I've just thought of myself, would be the British term 'daft'. Haha.

 

[Hermione Golightly]

Yes, we often use daft in an affectionate way, but I once said "Don't be daft" to a Canadian online friend who got really upset.

 

[LVRBC]

BTW, a good alternative, which I've just thought of myself, would be the British term 'daft'. Haha.

I suggest you hold off on insulting your girlfriend, who is from the US, with British terms. Unless she insults you -- which would seem an odd basis for a relationship, but everyone to their own taste.

 

[marsbeing]

Yes, we often use daft in an affectionate way, but I once said "Don't be daft" to a Canadian online friend who got really upset.

I think the word 'daft' is usually fine in British English but having heard what you said, I'd think twice before using it when talking with anyone from outside the UK.

I suggest you hold off on insulting your girlfriend, who is from the US, with British terms. Unless she insults you -- which would seem an odd basis for a relationship, but everyone to their own taste.

Thanks for the advice LVRBC. I've no intention to insult her--and I don't think it's fun. I was making the point from a language learning point of view.