how to make the right publicity

J

Jade

Senior Member
Valencia
German - Spanish
Hi,
could somebody tell if the following sentences are well expressed for a good publicity letter.

We have started a special and individual promotion campaign for each property we list in our books. This different way of promoting properties allows us to invest a considerable amount of money in publicity for your house and enables at the same time a quick sale. Our sole agency contract is for 4 month. If you wish, we will be glad to visit your property, make an evalutation on it and take proffessional picture of it.
 
    • Not bad, mate! I've made a few corrections:

    We have started a special and individual promotion campaign for each property we list in our books. This unique (suena mejor) way of promoting properties allows us to make a considerable investment in advertising your property and, at the same time, enabling a quick sale. Our sole agency contract is for 4 months. If you are interested, we would be delighted to visit your property, make a valuation of it and take professional photographs of it.

    There are other ways to say the same thing...any more suggestions?
     
    Hello Jade,

    An English speaker will definitelly be able to help you improving your letter. In my experience, the only suggestions I can make are:

    Jade said:
    Hi,
    could somebody tell if the following sentences are well expressed for a good publicity letter.

    We have started a special and individual promotion campaign for each property listed in our books. This new promoting campaign allows us to invest a considerable amount of money in publicity for your house and enables at the same time a quick sale. Our sole agency contract is for four months. If you wish, we will be glad to visit your property, make a valuation and take proffessional picture of it.
    Click to expand...

    "4 month" - "four months": My teacher told me not to use numbers in a formal letter and it is a plural.

    "make an evaluation" - "make a valuation/have it valuated": My guess is that you will go to the house and decide how much money is worth, if this is the case, I would use valuation instead of evaluation.
     
    If I've understood you correctly, the following may be a slight improvement (though note that some of my changes are stylistic rather than grammatical/syntactical)

    We have started a special and individual promotional campaign for each property we list in our books. This unique way of promoting properties allows us to invest a considerable amount of money in marketing your house, helping to achieve a quick sale. Our sole agency contract is for 4 months. If you wish, we will be glad to visit your property, make an evaluation and take professional photographs.

    Other suggestions?
     
    I'll simply add this:

    Instead of "make an evaluation" -- "appraise it"

    "Appraise" is the usual term used in real estate in this way.

    Vicki
     
    HEY, what about my "valuation" word and other corrections... I am waiting for someone to say... that is/isn't appropriate and so on... :D
     
    Sandra's comments regarding 4/four are spot on, although in such a promotional flyer you can easily get away with retaining the digit '4'. The use of digits to represent the numbers 1 to 9 should definitely should be avoided in formal correspondence (with the exception of addresses, lists, numerical tables etc.) particularly if the text contains lots of numbers - will look very untidy. Sandra - if only my (British) staff knew the rules of English usage as well as you!

    Would also agree that valuation is better than evaluation, if what you mean is that you will determine a price. Evaluation would suggest some kind of survey or assessment of the quality of the property.
     
    Consider this, incorporating many of the previous suggestions and a few more:

    We have launched a special customized promotional campaign for each property listed with us. This unique way of promoting properties allows us to invest a considerable amount of money in marketing your house, helping to achieve a quick sale. Our agency contract is for only four months. If you wish, we will be glad to visit your property, appraise it and take professional photographs.

    Do you want to share the rest of the letter as well?

    Vicki
     
    THAT WAS QUICK. Thanks so much to everybody. This was my first day, well my first half an hour and already 7 questions. CONGRATULATIONS!

    JADE
     
    Vicki - that looks pretty perfect.

    My only very slight niggle(!) - while appraise will almost certainly be understood, it might not be quite the mot juste for a British English-speaking audience (just as real estate would not be either). So Jade - are you writing for Yanks, Limeys, both, or neither??
     
    dave said:
    Vicki - that looks pretty perfect.

    My only very slight niggle(!) - while appraise will almost certainly be understood, it might not be quite the mot juste for a British English-speaking audience (just as real estate would not be either). So Jade - are you writing for Yanks, Limeys, both, or neither??
    Click to expand...

    Thanks dave, I write for Brits
     
    Vicki said:
    Consider this, incorporating many of the previous suggestions and a few more:

    We have launched a special customized promotional campaign for each property listed with us. This unique way of promoting properties allows us to invest a considerable amount of money in marketing your house, helping to achieve a quick sale. Our agency contract is for only four months. If you wish, we will be glad to visit your property, appraise it and take professional photographs.

    Do you want to share the rest of the letter as well?

    Vicki
    Click to expand...

    Hi Vicky,

    thank you so much for your interest.

    For your information ………. This will be a non-personalized marketing letter, which I would like to sound very personal. J The recipients are British property owners living in Spain.

    Dear ………..

    Monduver Homes would like to explain you how we can help to sell your property quickly and to a fair price.

    The most important and what makes us different to other real estate agencies is our total engagement in the sell of your house. You will indeed not find somewhere else written and signed guaranties as you will get them with us.

    The reasons why we are so confident in selling your property are the following:

    1.- We are more than seven years specialized in sale of villas. We perfectly know the area and we have sold in nearly all the urbanizations. This fact allows us to establish realistic market prices, which allow a quick sale.

    2.- Our staff is perfectly capable to offer you a good service and speak the main European languages: English, German, French etc. We are used to work with clients of all nationalities.

    3.- We do an important publicity effort in order to guarantee an adequate commercialising of the properties we list. We advertise in English newspapers and magazines (Costa Blanca News, Property Market). Furthermore we sponsor the Gandia TV program “Livng La Safor”. Our website is the most visited among the real estate of the Valencian region.

    These are some of the reasons why we have reached a professional
    level and we believe that we are your best allied.

    We appreciate very much your time and attention and look forward
    starting to work with you.
     
    Here's a first attempt (there'll be loads more):

    Dear ………..

    Monduver Homes would like to take this opportunity to explain to you how we can help to sell your property quickly and at a very competitive price.

    Most importantly, what makes us different to other estate agents is our total commitment to the sale of your property. Indeed, the guarantees that we offer, won't be found anywhere else.

    The reasons why we are so confident in selling your property are as follows:

    1.- We have more than seven years experience specialising in the sale of villas. We know the area 'inside-out' and we have sold properties in almost all the localities. This allows us to establish realistic market prices, facilitating a quick sale.

    2.- Our expert staff are able to offer you an excellent level of service and speak all the main European languages: English, German, French etc. We are accustomed to working with clients of all nationalities.

    3.- We make great efforts to guarantee thorough advertising of the properties we list. We advertise in English newspapers and magazines (Costa Blanca News, Property Market). Furthermore, we sponsor the Gandia TV program “Livng La Safor”. Our website is the most visited among the estate agents of the Valencian region.

    These are just some of the reasons why we have succeeded in our professional
    level of competency and we believe that we are your best ally.

    We very much appreciate your time and attention and look forward
    to starting to work with you.
     
    First attempt at a redraft. Could still do with some stylistic improvements, but I'm sure we'll get there with a bit of iteration (are we on commission for this?!):

    Dear ………..

    Monduver Homes would like to explain to you how we can help to sell your property quickly and for a fair price. [do you mean that your fee is low (for a fair price), or you will be able to secure a high price for the property (at a good price)]

    What makes us different from other estate agents is our total engagement in the sale of your house. You will certainly not find the same written guaranties that we are able to offer anywhere else. [not exactly sure what you mean here]

    The reasons why we are so confident in selling your property include the following:

    1.- We have been specialists in the sale of villas for more than seven years. We know the area intimately and we have made sales in nearly all the urbanizations. This fact allows us to establish realistic market prices, which help to achieve a quick sale.

    2.- Our staff are [although this is a singular subject, because it describes a group of people it is more common and natural to use a plural verb] able to offer you an excellent service, and speak all of the main European languages: English, German, French etc. We are used to working with clients of all nationalities.

    3.- We have a strong advertising campaign in order to guarantee prominent marketing for the properties we list. We also advertise in a number of English newspapers and magazines (e.g. Costa Blanca News, Property Market). Furthermore we are sponsors of the Gandia TV program “Living La Safor”. Our website is the most visited of all the estate agents in the Valencia region.

    These are some of the reasons why we have reached such a professional
    level, and we believe that we are your best ally. [not at all sure what you are trying to say – although correct English it doesn’t really mean anything! Perhaps write it in Spanish and we’ll see what we can come up with]

    We greatly appreciate your time and attention and look forward
    to working with you.

    Waddya think?
     
    Hi Dave,

    Fair price means to me that we will make a valuation of the house. There are houses under the market price and other which are far to high prices.

    Last sentence in Spanish: Estas son algunas de las razones por las que hemos conseguido un alto nivel de profesionalidad y por las que creemos que somos su mejor aliado en la venta de su casa.
     
    In that case, for a fair price might be better as at a realistic price or even at the best price.

    Last sentence perhaps:
    These are just some of the reasons why we have been able to achieve such a high level of professionalism, and why we believe we will be your greatest ally in selling your house. [I'm not very happy with the last bit, particularly retaining the word 'ally', but I can't think of anything else at the mo without moving far away from the original. Then again, I don't know anything about marketing and such language might be quite normal!]
     
    dave said:
    In that case, for a fair price might be better as at a realistic price or even at the best price.

    Last sentence perhaps:
    These are just some of the reasons why we have been able to achieve such a high level of professionalism, and why we believe we will be your greatest ally in selling your house. [I'm not very happy with the last bit, particularly retaining the word 'ally', but I can't think of anything else at the mo without moving far away from the original. Then again, I don't know anything about marketing and such language might be quite normal!]
    Click to expand...
    "At the best possible price" is commonly used in this way. (It also doesn't promise as much as "best price"!)

    Regarding "ally", "partner" is often used in this context. So I suggest "your best partner in selling your house", "your most important partner in selling your house", "a true partner in selling your house," or some other variation on this.

    Vicki
     
    I think evaluate your property would be best...its comfort, its appeal, its appearance, and its possible price. Appraisal, evalúo, is usually much more formal a procedure, done for el catastro or a bank by a licensed appraiser, with legal significance in case of litigation.
     
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