I am sure it will be a mutually profitable relationship.

bosun

Banned
korean
I wonder if the following sentences sounds Ok in promoting sales of PDP television. If you see any mistakes, can I have your comments? Thanks in advance.

We have a wide PDP production range from 42" to 60". It has the world top features in resolution, brightness, contrast ratio. Also, our PDP especially has a remote controllable function.I am certain that our PDP will help you succeed in your business.


I look forward to meeting you. I am sure it will be a mutually profitable relationship.( I am not sure how to express this sentence. DOes it sound ok???/)
 
  • tinlizzy

    Senior Member
    USA - English
    Yes bosun- it sounds confident. You could also replace I am sure with I hope, however this would be a little less confident.
     

    anothersmith

    Senior Member
    English, U.S.
    Are you a wholesaler selling to a retailer? In that case, "profitable" is okay, because you'll both make money off of the relationship. The word "profitable" connotes financial gain.

    If you want another word to use in its place, I would suggest "advantageous" or "beneficial."
     

    Dimcl

    Senior Member
    Canadian English
    Don't you see any other grammatically mistakes in my writing?
    A few thoughts:

    "It has the world top features..." What are world top features? Do you mean that the features are the best in the world? If so, shouldn't you use the possessive?

    "...our PDP especially has a remote controllable..." I'm not certain what you mean by the use of "especially".

    "...resolution, brightness, contrast ratio". When you are making a list like this, the last item (almost) always has "and" in front of it.
     
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