I don't know what to do, if you're there please help me

maghanish2

Senior Member
United States - English
大家好!

我在寫一首中文歌呢, 不過我覺得我錯了. 你們覺得有沒有道理?

"不知道我該怎麼辦, 如果你在, 請幫我. 不知道我該去哪裡, 要是你在, 請告訴我. 我不能呼吸了. 如果你在, 請幫助我."

我用英文想要說的話是:

I don't know what to do, if you're there please help me. I don't know where to go, if you're there tell me. I can't breath anymore, if you're there please help me.

謝謝大家的幫忙.
 
  • Jerry Chan

    Senior Member
    Cantonese, Hokkien
    It's basically very good. But I think it'll sound more natural if we put the pronoun in front of each sentence.

    不知道該怎麼辦, 如果你在, 請幫我;我不知道該去哪裡, 要是你在, 請告訴我不能呼吸了, 如果你在, 請幫助我.
     

    jesse111111

    New Member
    Cantonese, Mandarin, Luijiu
    i think you will have a better rhythen if you repeat 如果你在
    不知道該怎麼辦, 如果你在, 請幫我;我不 知道該去哪裡, 如果你在, 請告訴我不 能呼吸了, 如果你在, 請幫助我.
    but i have to say, native speakers dont say 如果你在, though it is not wrong
     

    maghanish2

    Senior Member
    United States - English
    I actually agree with you on that one jesse. So if 如果你在 isn't the common way of saying it, how would you normally express "If you are there"?
     

    Geysere

    Senior Member
    Chinese - China
    I actually agree with you on that one jesse. So if 如果你在 isn't the common way of saying it, how would you normally express "If you are there"?
    Depends on what the speaker means... probably "如果你在这儿/那里" But in your context I think it fits perfectly, both in meaning and in rhythm:)

    And I want to add that 不知道我該怎麼辦 or 我不知道該怎麼辦 are both OK and you should also consider the music and see if it goes with the beats. i.e. whether you have 不知道/我該怎麼辦(3/5) or 我不知道/該怎麼辦(4/4)
     

    jesse111111

    New Member
    Cantonese, Mandarin, Luijiu
    I think you came up with English first and then translated into Chinese, at least in your mind. We just dont say "if you are there" in Chinese the way you say in English. If I were you, I would probably say 我不知道该怎麼辦, 请你告诉我;我不知道該去哪裡, 请给我指引方向;不能呼吸了, (请给我活下去的勇气or請给我更多氧气). it may not be as elegant as you expected, but it is more like Chinese:D

    as you are writing lyrics, I would recommend you to read a Cantonese Lyricist's works. his Chinese name is 林夕,english name is Albert Leung , please note that 林夕 is his artist name. you can find his works on internet, which, might be a little bit difficult for you. but he is one of the best Cantonese lyricists.

    I actually agree with you on that one jesse. So if 如果你在 isn't the common way of saying it, how would you normally express "If you are there"?
     

    maghanish2

    Senior Member
    United States - English
    Thanks for all the advice!

    In English the phrase If you are there normally doesn't literally mean "there", but rather "If you're at my side/willing to support me" or the like. I'm not sure if this same meaning is conveyed in Chinese.
     

    Jerry Chan

    Senior Member
    Cantonese, Hokkien
    Thanks for all the advice!

    In English the phrase If you are there normally doesn't literally mean "there", but rather "If you're at my side/willing to support me" or the like. I'm not sure if this same meaning is conveyed in Chinese.
    No worries maghanish2.

    "If you are there" is a very common theme in Chinese songs as well.

    Make a casual search on Baidu and you'll find songs like 若是你在我身邊, 幸福就是有你在我身邊, 一路上有你, 一生有你...
     
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