I have a problem of describing the different sides of the crowd.

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Near.Y

Senior Member
Mandarin
I am writing a funeral scene in a short story. And I have a problem with how to describe different sides of the crowd.

I imagine the mourners will stand like this:
coffin.jpg


Here's what I wrote:
Amy stands in the front row, staring blankly at the coffin. She's still in shock of her mother’s death. John, who is Emma’s best friend, stands in the front row on the right side, looks to Emma.

Is "on the right side" the right way to describe where he is standing relatively to Emma?

Thank you!
 
  • Packard

    Senior Member
    USA, English
    I am guessing that the location of Amy and John are important to Amy and John only, and not really an issue otherwise. So their actual location is less important that the way Amy perceives it. So in the example below I am placing John in reference to Amy's position.

    Perhaps (and I got carried away at the end):

    Amy was standing in the front row at the foot of her mother's coffin. Off to her right and in the middle of the front row of the mourners to the right of the coffin stood John, her best friend. They could make eye contact, but there were no words. And she needed the words.
     
    Last edited:

    Near.Y

    Senior Member
    Mandarin
    I am guessing that the location of Amy and John are important to Amy and John only, and not really an issue otherwise. So their actual location is less important that the way Amy perceives it. So in the example below I am placing John in reference to Amy's position.

    Perhaps (and I got carried away at the end):

    Amy was standing in the front row at the foot of her mother's coffin. Off to her right and in the middle of the front row of the mourners alongside the coffin stood John, her best friend. They could make eye contact, but there were no words. And she needed the words.
    Thank you so so much! Your writing is so beautiful. I really admire it!
     
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