I have tried to look at both pilgrimage in the Middle Ages and tourism in Modern Time in the attempt of finding similarities and drawing a parallel between these two phenomenon

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Frenchie Fred

Member
France - French
Hello everyone!

I am writing a dissertation and i am not perfectly sure of my English :(, this is a key sentence of my introduction so i need to get it right. Do you think it is correct?

Thanks!!
 
  • EmilyD

    Senior Member
    U.S., English
    I agree with the suggestions above, and have only a question about the spelling of:

    pilgrimage.

    Could it be pilgrimMage ?

    I am using an ancient computer and cannot check without clogging up this system.

    Best wishes,

    Nomi
     

    river

    Senior Member
    U.S. English
    Why would you write "I have tried to" in an introduction? It's "in an attempt to." Surely you have evidence to back up your thesis. Be assertive: I will compare pilgrimage in the Middle Ages with tourism in Modern Times.
     

    EmilyD

    Senior Member
    U.S., English
    Frenchie Fred,

    You spelled pilgrimage correctly.

    Your sentence is elegant, but you could say: ..."in the attempt of drawing a parallel..." and omit, "finding similarities".

    Doesn't one have to find similarities in order to make a parallel? Again, I may be wrong. I don't have a doctoral dissertation to my name. :)

    Welcome to WordReference, by the way!

    Nomi
     
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