I would <neither ever> leave <nor even ever> say goodbye

natthapong

New Member
Thai
I'm writing a song and I worry about whether it sounds weird.

"I would neither ever leave nor even ever say goodbye."

This is what I wrote. I wonder how it sounds to native speakers.
 
  • Chez

    Senior Member
    English English
    Um, a few too many negatives I think!

    'I would never leave (you), nor even say goodbye' expresses what you want to say.
     

    Chez

    Senior Member
    English English
    natthapong, you can say anything you like in a song – I'm sure you already know that lyrics don't always make a lot of sense.

    However, if you want your song to be in 'good' English, this also doesn't sound very natural.

    What about:
    I would never, ever leave; I wouldn't/couldn't even say goodbye.
     

    natthapong

    New Member
    Thai
    natthapong, you can say anything you like in a song – I'm sure you already know that lyrics don't always make a lot of sense.

    However, if you want your song to be in 'good' English, this also doesn't sound very natural.

    What about:
    I would never, ever leave; I wouldn't/couldn't even say goodbye.
    Thank you so much for your help.
    Now I am more confident to complete my song. :)
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top