oh okay.. thanks"Damned if I/you do, damned if I/you don't" is a very common idiom that can be applied to almost any situation or action. If you change it, you ruin it — and make it look as though you don't "get it".
thanks !!!!Don't change the idiom. Preface it: "Don't bother speaking. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't."