indulgence, serious

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learning_grenglish

Senior Member
India
One has to be very careful about his indulgence in illegal sex, otherwise he may have to bear serious consequences of HIV.

This is my own sentence to establish the term `indulgence'.

Please check whether I have used the word `indulgence' and `serious' correctly or not.
 
  • JeffJo

    Senior Member
    USA
    USA, English
    It all looks correct to me.

    "The" could be used before "serious," optionally, but isn't required.
     

    Ecossaise

    Senior Member
    English
    One has to be very careful about the indulgence in illegal sex, otherwise one may have to bear the serious consequences of HIV.

    This is my own sentence to establish the term `indulgence'.

    Please check whether I have used the word `indulgence' and `serious' correctly or not.
    I also would put "the" in front of "serious consequences".

    On a side issue, if you begin a sentence with the neutral "one", then the rest of the sentence must maintain that neutrality.
     

    idialegre

    Senior Member
    USA English
    While your use of "indulgence" and "serious" is fine, I find the sentence unclear because of the use of "one" and "his." If you are speaking about a specific person, it would be more natural to say,

    "He should be very careful about his indulgence..."

    If you mean to make a general statement, I think it would be clearer and more natural to say,

    "One has to be very careful about indulging in illegal sex, otherwise one may..."

    It is confusing to use "one" as the subject and then use "his" to refer to the subject. It sounds as if you were talking about two different people, e.g.,

    Bob is a kleptomaniac. One has to watch his every move.

    Otherwise, it would be more natural to use "one's."

    One has to watch one's step.

    And by the way, whether a sexual act is legal or not plays no role in the transmission of HIV. Viruses don't change their behavior according to local laws.
     
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