Instead of you...., I am....

A-friend

Senior Member
Persian (Farsi)
What structure shall I use to in the following example to indicate that "instead of you...., I am...., while you have to..."?

Example:
Please imagine a trainer or a coach who is going to hep a wrestler to achieve a higher level of mental abilities prior to a considerable tournament. But, the trainer keep telling some disappointing statements. Instead, the wrestler is always very positive and asks his coach to look at the bright side. After a while, the wrestler gets upset and says his coach:

- Instead of you give me hope, I'm giving you.

I need to know if it is the way a native speaker would say in similar situation? (I'm not looking for a better choice, while it would be a matter of personal style! I just need to inquire whether this sentence is natural and idiomatic or not.)
 
  • Aardvark01

    Senior Member
    British English (Midlands)
    "Instead of you give me hope, I'm giving you." This is not idiomatic, but the confusion of tenses is something a native speaker might do in a moment of exasperation.
     

    A-friend

    Senior Member
    Persian (Farsi)
    "Instead of you give me hope, I'm giving you." This is not idiomatic, but the confusion of tenses is something a native speaker might do in a moment of exasperation.
    Thank you Aardvark01, but how would a native say it in proper language?
     

    A-friend

    Senior Member
    Persian (Farsi)
    I disagree with Aardvark01 about the first "give." The general rule is that, after prepositions, English uses a gerund.
    Thank you very much KHS, but I was wondering if you let me know whether in your offred sentence:

    - Instead of you giving me hope, I'm giving you (hope)."

    the second "hope" is redundant or not. ;)
    Best case scenario, to me it strikes me as optional.
     

    Aardvark01

    Senior Member
    British English (Midlands)
    Thank you Aardvark01, but how would a native say it in proper language?
    As KHS says: "Instead of you giving me hope, I'm giving you hope."
    This is grammatically correct, but it ignores the given context.

    A decent martial arts coach, trying to teach better mental discipline, might respond with the same structure:
    "Instead of you giving me hope, I am giving you a realistic opponent."

    A real opponent is not going to care about who owes hope to whom. We have to find our own courage and resilience to master our feelings in the face of "disappointing statements".
     

    A-friend

    Senior Member
    Persian (Farsi)
    Ah, I forgot to ask at the beginning!
    In farsi there is a popular sentence in similar cases. We say:
    -Everything is vice versa. (meaning that everything is contrary to what it should be, upside down, etc.)
    and then we say:
    - Interesting; "everything is vice versa." Instead of you giving hope to me, I'm giving it to you.
    Does that part work in this sentence?
    If not, then I wonder what would you say instead in English.
     
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