Irish: Attempted Lyrics

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TheWonderfulShoe

Member
Mixed-Dialect English
Hello, all! It has been a long while. :)

I am hopelessly inexperienced and short of resources as far as Gaeilge is concerned, and how I got conned into trying to translate an already-vague attempt at English lyrics into the language because of the excitement of a young friend is...a long, complicated and somewhat-pitiful story! :eek:

Still, I have put my try below, admittedly done with the help of many free dictionaries, resources on conjugation that I could hardly follow, and some online translators for lots of back-translation help to see exactly how badly I'd butchered it all. :( Be warned--your eyes may be bleeding from the terrible grammar by the time you are through, and the terms of endearment might not even be right!

Is there any kind soul who could please help me try to fix this up? I will be very appreciative for any help! :D I have put the full attempt first, and bit-by-bit below.



Full Attempted Lyrics

  • A leanbh! Mo chroi! Tá tú an-gcéin.
  • Shiúlann tú trí mo aisling, ach go bhfuil tú as láthair nuair a dúisigh mé. [[Ach amháin i aisling atá tú a dhéanamh liom./Tá tú ach amháin le liom i aisling.]] Déanann na deora ar mo leicne abhainn mhór de mo bhrón. Is mian liom a chodladh go deo.
  • A leanbh! Mo chroi! Tá tú an-gcéin.
  • An bhfuil na gaotha go dteagmháil le d'aghaidh a dhéanamh fuar tú? Ba mhaith liom a barróg te duit. Chodladh anois i sábháilteacht ar siúl taobh istigh mo chroí.
  • A leanbh! Mo chroi! Tá tú an-gcéin.
  • Codladh anois i síocháin. Codladh anois i socair. Codladh anois i ngrá. Cé go bhfuil mé bhfad i gcéin, tá mo ngrá leat.
  • A leanbh! Mo chroi! Tá tú an-gcéin.
  • Má éiríonn mian leis fhírinne, beidh mé tú a fheiceáil arís. Ba mhaith liom go mór tú a fheiceann arís. Ndeireadh na dála creidim go mbeidh mé tú a fheiceáil arís.



Broken Down with Notes:

Key:
  • Attempted translation
    • Comments/Notes
      • Original English


  • *A leanbh! Mo chroi! Tá tú an-gcéin.
    • *Here, I am not certain about the terms of endearment. It was supposed to be a mother to a child. I don't know enough terms of endearment to really do much, though. Would a stór be better for one of them?? Also, the below English reverted to having one term of endearment before the other and back...but it was my opinion that repeating it the same way might make it catchier as a song, since songs often do well when they have lots of repetition! If this isn't how Irish songs work, please let me know, and I will correct my error.
      • *My child! My dear! You are so very far from me.


  • Shiúlann tú trí mo aisling, ach go bhfuil tú as láthair nuair a dúisigh mé. [[Ach amháin i aisling atá tú a dhéanamh liom./Tá tú ach amháin le liom i aisling.]] Déanann na deora ar mo leicne abhainn mhór de mo bhrón. Is mian liom a chodladh go deo.
    • I think that the first part may be too literal. I wasn't sure about other figurative terms, such as "haunting" her dreams, etc. If I could describe the imagery, it would be sort of a gentle coming-and-going in her dreams, maybe in the periphery. Also: [[this part might not be left in the final version]]...especially since I can't seem to get it right in the translation! Inversion of word order is common in poetry and songs in English, but I can't find any resources on how--if ever--Irish can be rearranged, or what significance it has when it is. Any suggestions?
      • You walk through my dreams, but are gone when I wake. [[Only in dreams are you with me.]] The tears on my cheeks make a river out of my sorrow. If I could, I would dream forever.


  • A leanbh! Mo chroi! Tá tú an-gcéin.
    • See *


  • An bhfuil na gaotha go dteagmháil le d'aghaidh a dhéanamh fuar tú? Ba mhaith liom a barróg te duit. Chodladh anois i sábháilteacht ar siúl taobh istigh mo chroí.
    • Because this is conditional, I'm having even more trouble than before...I don't think this turned out right at all! Does it even make sense at all? The idea was something of worry, then longing and best wishes? The last sentence, is, I believe, completely shot in translation. It didn't mean a literal place, it meant...safe in her wishes and hopes and dreams, safe because she is forever loved, even if her mother cannot tell her so herself.
      • Does the wind brushing your face chill you? I would wrap you in my arms and keep you warm. Sleep now in the safety of my heart.


  • A leanbh! Mo chroi! Tá tú an-gcéin.
    • See *


  • Codladh anois i síocháin. Codladh anois i socair. Codladh anois i ngrá. Cé go bhfuil mé bhfad i gcéin, tá mo ngrá leat.
    • This one...hmm. Is this correct for the imperative form? And, even if so, is it too harsh for a gentle suggestion like this? Also...is there a better way to write it, if it's more of hoping that she is sleeping peacefully at that time? If it were in Spanish, I would use the subjunctive...but English does not have that tense as a separate one, and so I'm not certain what to do.
      • Now sleep in peace. Now sleep in calm. Now sleep in love. Though I am far away, my love is with you.


  • A leanbh! Mo chroi! Tá tú an-gcéin.
    • See *


  • Má éiríonn mian leis fhírinne, beidh mé tú a fheiceáil arís. Ba mhaith liom go mór tú a fheiceann arís. Ndeireadh na dála creidim go mbeidh mé tú a fheiceáil arís.
    • I kept going back and forth between different sentence structures. I tried to make them as parallel as possible--though I am not certain how well it worked...
      • If dreams [I used "wishes"] come true, I will see you again. I want so badly to see you again. I believe that some day I will see you again.



Well...if anyone hasn't given up at this point, thank you so much! :D To be honest, I really couldn't blame you if you had--this is a disaster!! :p Truly, any help is appreciated! "Just give up!" might also be appreciated. Haha!
 
  • franc 91

    Senior Member
    English - GB
    Dia duit - could you tell me where this lullaby comes from? I've tried looking for it but I haven't found it. If there are any specific points of vocabulary or grammar that you don't understand in Irish Gaelic (Gaeilge) there's the Irish Gaelic Translation Forum.
    Franc
     

    franc 91

    Senior Member
    English - GB
    For the chorus (curfa) I suggest A leanbh, a stoirin (with fadas on the 'o' and the last 'i') is fada liom uaim tù.
     

    TheWonderfulShoe

    Member
    Mixed-Dialect English
    Wow!! Thank you! I was busy with work for a few days and couldn't check back...what a wonderful surprise to come back and see your kindness, twice! :) Thank you very much!
     
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