is leaning against

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Bradshaw

Member
Spanish & Catalan
Hi,

Does this sentence sound natural to you native speakers? And is the fragment after the comma well-constructed? I mean, I'm particularly dubious about the use of the verb in present continuous.

There, under the tune of Blonde’s sassy hit Atomic, and unnoticed by all but Renton, is Diane leaning against a bar and veiled in an air of mystery.

THANKS

 
  • JamesM

    Senior Member
    Well, I'm a comma nut, so I would place a comma after "leaning". It makes sense as it is. To me, "leaning against a bar and veiled in an air of mystery" is a descriptive phrase. I would separate it with a comma.
     

    Bradshaw

    Member
    Spanish & Catalan
    Yes, I see it know. I mean it makes more sense to place the comma where you say.
    As for 'under the tune', it's the only phrase that I could think of as a 'rough' translation of "bajo las notas de".

    Thanks for your quick answers!
     

    Lexiphile

    Senior Member
    England English
    I'm the honourary president of the Leave-commas-out-whenever-possible Society so I would not under any circumstances put a comma after leaning. As to the continuous tense, it sounds fine. Consider the sentence without all the superfluous verbiage: "There is Diane leaning against a bar and veiled in an air of mystery."

    This isn't actually, strictly speaking, a continuous tense. It's a present participle without an auxilliary. But it still sounds good. If you were to say "leaned against the bar," it would make her sound like a cardboard cut-out.
     
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