let out a bitter sob

< Previous | Next >

quietdandelion

Banned
Formosa/Chinese
Feeling depressed, Mandy pressed her forehead to her knees and let out a bitter sob.




In order to make sure if I understand the above sentence right, I reword it as,
Feeling depressed, Mandy put her forehead on her knees and burst out crying bitterly.


Correct me if I am wrong. Thanks.
 
  • nichec

    Senior Member
    Chinese(Taiwan)/English(AE)
    Feeling depressed, Mandy pressed her forehead to her knees and let out a bitter sob.




    In order to make sure if I understand the above sentence right, I reword it as,
    Feeling depressed, Mandy put her forehead on her knees and burst out crying bitterly.


    Correct me if I am wrong. Thanks.
    1. It sounds like Mandy's forehead is detached from the rest of her head :eek: :D

    2. A "sob" is not loud, as far as I am concerned.
     

    panjandrum

    Lapsed Moderator
    English-Ireland (top end)
    Mandy pressed her forehead to her knees ...Mandy slumped until her forehead rested on her knees.

    and let out a bitter sob.
    Despite her efforts to control her emotions, her chest heaved and a low moan escaped her lips.

    ... or some similar melodramatic description. I don't normally write this kind of purple prose, sorry.
     

    AngelEyes

    Senior Member
    English - United States
    Feeling depressed, Mandy pressed her forehead to her knees and let out a bitter sob.
    I don't think there's anything wrong with "pressing her forehead to her knees." Haven't you ever been so lost, alone, and tortured, you either felt like doing exactly that or actually did?

    Bitter is used here to intensify the sad emotion of crying. It's beyond crying, actually. It's sobbing. She's heart-broken, and that's usually the way you weep when you feel like that: bitterly, painfully, to the depths-of-despair.


    AngelEyes
     

    nichec

    Senior Member
    Chinese(Taiwan)/English(AE)
    I don't think there's anything wrong with "pressing her forehead to her knees." Haven't you ever been so lost, alone, and tortured, you either felt like doing exactly that or actually did?

    Bitter is used here to intensify the sad emotion of crying. It's beyond crying, actually. It's sobbing. She's heart-broken, and that's usually the way you weep when you feel like that: bitterly, painfully, to the depths-of-despair.


    AngelEyes
    Hehe, but I was addressing to this sentence:

    Feeling depressed, Mandy put her forehead on her knees and burst out crying bitterly.

    Written by QD, in post #1.
     

    AngelEyes

    Senior Member
    English - United States
    Nichec,

    :eek:

    Oh, my...oh, dear. I shall simply perish unless I make this right with you.

    Now I'm highlighting the wrong sections of a post to make my points, aren't I? Maybe it was Panj's talk about Purple Prose that had me all but swooning at my screen and losing my wits.

    You're right, dear nichec. :)
    Putting your forehead on your knees creates a picture in your mind that's not logical.

    Although, I don't know about you, but I always put my forehead in my purse before I burst out crying bitterly.

    Thanks for pointing out my mistake.


    AngelEyes
     

    nichec

    Senior Member
    Chinese(Taiwan)/English(AE)
    Nichec,

    :eek:

    Oh, my...oh, dear. I shall simply perish unless I make this right with you.

    Now I'm highlighting the wrong sections of a post to make my points, aren't I? Maybe it was Panj's talk about Purple Prose that had me all but swooning at my screen and losing my wits.

    You're right, dear nichec. :)
    Putting your forehead on your knees creates a picture in your mind that's not logical.

    Although, I don't know about you, but I always put my forehead in my purse before I burst out crying bitterly.

    Thanks for pointing out my mistake.


    AngelEyes
    Aha! Not a problem at all! :D (just want to make things clear for QD :))

    By the way, panj posted #5 because I forced him to....(I didn't know how to answer, so I forced him to do it :rolleyes:)

    A great thank you to panjandrum, the most reliable man in the world :cool:

    Hmmmm.....Put my forehead in my purse :)thumbsup:).......I usually just cry out loud shamelessly :D
     

    AngelEyes

    Senior Member
    English - United States
    I would like to make one last comment about this whole original sentence.

    If I were writing it, this is the way I'd do it:

    Mandy hugged her middle, pressed her forehead to her knees, and sobbed.

    It's the first rule in romance writing or any kind of emotional writing: Show. Don't tell.

    In my sentence, Mandy's moving forward in the sentence and you don't have to wonder in your mind if she's depressed, or just to what extent she's crying.

    That kind of body language speaks for itself. The sentence is a full picture now of emotion and movement.

    I know that really wasn't the intent of the question, but in my opinion, this is the fuller answer.

    AngelEyes
     

    KHS

    Senior Member
    One note on the difference between let out a sob and burst out crying

    It's *one* sob (although another could follow), but crying necessarily implies continuous activity. And, unlike some other posters, it seems quite possible to me that there can be a loud sob.
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top