long string of nouns

theworldissmall

Member
Russian, Belarusian
The place of emergency depressurization of the process unit was chosen basing on condition of the maximum degree of seriousness of malfunctioning unit gas-steam media explosion consequences.

Is it a clear phrase, or it is better to arrange it with "of" preposition (of the maximum degree of seriousness of consequences of gas-steam media explosion of malfunctioning unit)?

I would appreciate your opinion.
 
  • wandle

    Senior Member
    English - British
    It is not good English. The sentence, on re-reading, is comprehensible, but the phrasing is not natural and the accumulation of nouns is certainly excessive.

    This forum does not provide a proof-reading or editing service, but perhaps I can suggest that you should turn some of your noun-phrases into clauses (e.g. by using a clause such as 'if the unit malfunctions' rather than 'of malfunctioning unit').
    'If' means 'in the event that'.
     
    Last edited:

    theworldissmall

    Member
    Russian, Belarusian
    Yes, I think it is too heavy, too. But i have seen such endless sequences many times in international technical documentation in many projects. Sometimes it is absolutely incomprehensible. I have re-written it using subclause.
    P.S. In no case I presumed that somebody will do my job and write it instead of me. I just wanted to make sure that it is not good.
     

    JustKate

    Moderate Mod
    As a general guideline, one really should avoid making a noun string longer than, say, three words or so. There are no doubt numerous exceptions, but most of the time anything longer than that becomes at best unwieldy - and it's often incomprehensible, which is just what's happened here.
     
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