Loss of a friend: Parla


post mod (English Only / Latin)
English - US
Sadly, the member whom we knew here as "Parla" passed away August 2 in New York City from cancer.

In the six years she was a member, her 33,701 posts represented a generous contribution of her time and are a substantial addition to our forum.

We will miss her.

for the English Only moderating team.

Added Sunday Aug. 7:
I communicated with Parla's family and sent them a link to this thread. They were pleased to know she was so well regarded in this forum and thank us for our condolences.
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  • I'm very sorry to hear that, Cagey.

    Thank you for telling us.

    We will, indeed, miss her.

    I can't believe how upset I am! I enjoyed reading her posts; she had the ability to cut through the clutter and in a few words say what most of us needed a thesis to explain. Very sad!
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    I never met her in person, but we had an ongoing, scholarly, Internet relationship second to none. Every year, she chided my about how a nice city like Portland, Ore. could have an annual "Naked Bike Ride." (Not to mention a few other oddities we have out here.)

    I don't know how old she was, but she often called me a "youngster" (I'm almost 77)

    This forum has lost a treasure.
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    Wow, very sorry to hear this, but thanks for letting us know. She was so concise and precise in her comments, and often came in and put a quick end to lengthy threads with a summing-up post.

    One of the people I too would have enjoyed meeting in person, I'm sure.
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    I am very sorry to hear that. Thank you Parla for your generosity and for touching the life of so many people in this forum. RIP awesome.
    I've been e-chatting with Parla for some years, swapping stories and chewing over stuff about the UK and US, making up riddles, and solving the Sunday Times crossword every week.

    I shall miss her terribly.

    As will the forum. She was indeed a diamond.
    I had the greatest respect for her posts and considered Parla an authority. Most of all I looked forward to reading what she had to say. She will be missed. I am saddened.
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    Five years ago, when I first PMed you, you said "Silver, I can help you with your sentences, but you can send only 6 at most per day", and you'd been doing this for four years.

    You were always telling me that you were busy, but I didn't realize that you were getting older and older, weaker and weaker. I'm so grateful for what you've done for me throught those years, and I will never forget what you told me.

    I just can't accept this and my tears are rolling off my face. No one understands you better here than I do, and you've gone.......

    But I still remember what you taught me, and I have 5 big notebooks with all your notes, each time when I go over my notebook, it's like you are teaching me again.

    Anyway, I'll go to the temple as a Buddhist as well as your friend.


    I was mainly travelling in June. When I got into the Forum in July, it felt different. I soon realised that it was missing Parla's voice. That's how big an impact she made here!

    Thank you, Parla, for your generosity. You will definitely be missed.
    I am saddened to hear of this news. Parla ma'am, as I often referred to her was always concise and to the point. I always felt good to have my questions answered by her. I will surely miss her. Thank you, Parla ma'am.
    Parla joined WordReference on 23 September 2010, so she was part of my life for nearly six years – longer than many people I’ve known, and more constant and contributory in those years than most.

    It is fairly obvious that there are far fewer members on the forum than guests, far fewer answerers than questioners, and fewer answerers still that move in and make themselves available and useful for such a long time. Parla was one of those few.

    Despite her work as an author, editor and journalist, she found time to post an average of 15 posts a day for six years – and to adopt Silverobama. :) (Post 15) You were fortunate, Silver, as you know. It’s a rare person who will offer that much help over that much time. Five filled notebooks is quite a legacy … and I believe the best legacy lies in what we pass on to others.

    Like you, we were fortunate to have her New York knowledge and the wisdom of her years. She will be missed, but she will also be remembered and appreciated by anyone reading "previous threads" and finding her contributions.

    Goodbye, Parla
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    Also, if at some point the moderators have the capability of forwarding some of these comments on to surviving family members if thought helpful, I give my permission to do so.

    Just a thought.
    I think that's a great idea, Dale; it might help alleviate some of the pain they're feeling right now. :)
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    I am so sorry to hear that we'll no longer hear Parla's voice but I am glad to have known her and learnt from her, through her posts which were always stylish, interesting and to the point.
    It still amazes me how close we can feel to those we have never met in person, just got to know on-line. Parla was one of those friends who enriched my life.

    I send my condolences to her family and friends on their loss.
    I'm very much saddened to hear this news; I cannot explain my pain in words.

    I did get help from her by sending quite a few PMs to her, but the thing that I love the most is her reply:

    "Sorry for the delay in replying, shop."

    When you send a PM to a native speaker for help, you can hardly expect this sort of very generous reply. But, believe that that was only Parla who could be so good-natured and helpful.

    Love you so much, Parla ma'am.
    Terrible news. Parla was among the most gentle but incisive contributors on the forum, one whose take on a question I always looked forward to reading to find out whether my own was reasonable or way off base. Thanks to Cagey for being willing to become the bearer of bad news; a big but sadly belated thank-you to Parla.
    Thanks for sharing Cagey. This is really sad news, but we had to know. I will truly miss her. I can't believe it. I owe her a lot. So much. She replied to so many of my questions. And her answers were always so precise and so clear. I learned so much from her. She was really an asset here. She was so generous. So hard-working. So patient. A true teacher in the noblest sense.

    My condolences to her family and her friends and to everybody in Wordreference.
    Goodness, what a shock. I thought the title of this thread meant it was being addressed to Parla, not about her. I, like so many of you, cannot believe how upset I feel at this news. I only hope her family know how much we all appreciated her contribution to the forum.
    Terrible news ~ may she rest in peace. Though I didn't generally agree with her 'political stance' on English, her posts were a pleasure to read: as others have said, she had a knack for cutting through the crap (including my crap) in pithy style. She will certainly be missed.
    Heartbreaking news!:oops: RIP, @Parla ! You were such an exceptionally knowledgeable and phenomenal teacher and an incredibly nice person! I can now imagine how busy you must have been answering the PMs of so many members and posting publicly on the forum while doing your work, yet you regularly answered my PMs too with such incredible kindness. Even after being so knowledgeable, you were incredibly humble. It's the second (equally heartbreaking) loss for me in a fortnight (after my granny's death recently) and I find it really hard to believe that you will no more post to correct us in the forum and no more answer my PMs. So SAD!

    I will always miss you too much, dear Parla! My heartfelt condolences to your grief-stricken family and friends.

    But I will always keep learning from you by reading all those greatly enlightening posts of yours that I haven't read so far, as well as from those posts that I need to read at regular intervals to ensure that I remember your advice right. I'm sure the same is true of millions of other learners across the world. Thanks for letting us know that, Cagey.
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    Thank you for letting us know this, Cagey.

    I'd like to offer my condolences.

    So would I.

    Such a sad loss.
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    That is saddening news - a generous flow of clear explanations has come to an end. As was said of Wren, "Lector si monumentum requiris circumspice."
    I remember thinking to myself a few days ago that we hadn't seen much of Parla over the last month or so.

    I'm very sorry to hear this.

    She was a personality. Most of us knew her only in the context of this forum, never met her and don't even know her name but it still feels as if we have lost someone we knew personally.
    Parla, I pay my deepest respect for the work you did in the Forum.
    Your 33,701 posts are an outstanding achievement.

    May you be in peace.
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    I have little to add to the kind words already written. It was a pleasure having contact with Parla within and without the forum and I will miss her.
    I had been away from the forum for two years. When I came back weeks ago, I noticed she was missing in threads. The Parla I knew would show up somewhere in the thread, and as the others said before, help us learners see things more clearly.

    I was always used to seeing her in my threads. The last time we had a conversation was two years ago when I asked her for helping me find out my mistakes, and she explained it very well, as always.

    No words can describe my sadness. May she rest in peace.
    In my occasional forays into the EO forum I came across her posts a couple times but never engaged in a "conversation" with her.

    Still, I'm very sorry she's gone.

    Someone who devoted such a sizable portion of her time to the WRF deserves better words than mine, but there you have it. The weird thing with discussion boards is you make
    friends with—or simply get to respect—people who suddenly are not there anymore. They're gone, but they left a lot of their knowledge and personality behind and you can always go back and read their posts.
    In a way, it's not unlike those favorite authors of yours who have died (man, do I have a long list of them), but you take comfort in the fact that their work will never die.
    As Copyright pointed out at post 20 "there are far fewer members on the forum than guests, far fewer answerers than questioners, and fewer answerers still that move in and make themselves available and useful for such a long time. Parla was one of those few."
    I'm so grateful for what Parla had done for the forum, for us learners. Her generous help had been helping and motivating all the English learners on the forum and will still help us with her unbelieveable 33,701 posts.
    I still can't believe I won't hear voice on the forum any more.:(:(:(
    May she rest in peace!
    Sorry to hear the sad news, I always enjoyed reading her posts, she had much knowledge and was always willing to share and help others.
    I'm very sorry to hear this. You were a great teacher. Thank you for your kindness, Parla.
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    Though I've not been here long, I've taken quickly to this community, perhaps most of all because this is a haven from the hostility that seems to be creeping into or dominating too much of life on- and offline. Parla's exemplary kindness and patience made this rare, peaceful pocket of the Internet a nicer place - as I'm sure did her presence in the world at large. It's sad to think that a voice is stilled, but it may get a bit louder out there.