Monopteros Angelus: First stanza

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Faethin

Member
Spanish, Aeternae Veris Terra
Greetings.

I'm working on an article at the Final Fantasy Wiki regarding the translation of the song Advent: One-winged Angel, which is written in Latin. Since I cannot post the whole song without the post being deleted, and since, anyway, I only want to corroborate the translation I've already done, I will post the lyrics of the song one stanza at the time. Any help, as always, would be appreciated and thanked for.

The First stanza:

Noli manere, manere in memoria
Saevam iram, iram et dolorem
Ferum terribile, ferum fatum

Its "official" translation:

Won't remain, remain in memory
Raging anger, anger and misery
Fierce terror, fierce fate

My translation:

Don't remain, remain in memory
Fierce anger, anger and pain
Wild, terrible, wild fate

Mine is not a free translation, of course.

The ongoing discussion at the FFWiki was that the official translation conveyed the same message as the original text, not necessarily being an actual, word-by-word translation. It was decided that an external link would have to be created to support the existance of this debate and I immediately thought of the WordReference Forums as such link.

Thanks in advance, as usual.
 
  • Cagey

    post mod (English Only / Latin)
    English - US
    Greetings.

    The First stanza:

    Noli manere, manere in memoria
    Saevam iram, iram et dolorem
    Ferum terribile, ferum fatum

    My translation:

    Don't remain, remain in memory
    Fierce anger, anger and pain
    Wild, terrible, wild fate
    Your translation is apparently addressed to fierce anger etc., as if they were in the vocative case in the Latin.

    The "official translation" takes fierce anger etc. as the subjects of the sentence, as if they were in the nominative case.

    However, you will notice that iram etc. are in the accusative case, and therefore are presumably the accusative subjects of the infinitive manere. This construction depends on noli.

    I hope that this will help you correct the English to reflect the Latin more closely, if that is important to you.
     
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