mutilation

bereborn!

Senior Member
colombia español
hello someone can tell if this paragraf is correct? thanx

This practice is performed by a lot of countries in Africa and in the Middle East. I say thanks to god because Colombia is not one of those countries with bizarre customs. It is well-known that this country is one of the most violent ones but the violence witch those African and Arabian women are exposed to it is just unbelievable, and annoying if we see the way Hannah was damaged. When she entered the secret bush she was taken to a very dark room she was undress, naked in the dark she got herself pulled on the floor. Four strong women hold tight her legs and arms, another woman sat strongly over her chest to prevent her movement, she was given a piece of rag and forced to bite it to stop screaming. The she was mutilated.
 
  • SrRdRaCinG

    Senior Member
    U.S.A/English
    Hello can someone tell me if this paragraph is correct? Thanks

    This practice is performed by a lot of countries in Africa and in the Middle East. I say thanks to God because Colombia is not one of those countries with bizarre customs. It is well-known that this country is one of the most violent ones but the violence which those African and Arabian women are exposed to it is just unbelievable, and annoying if we see the way Hannah was damaged. When she entered the secret bush she was taken to a very dark room where she was undressed, naked in the dark and got herself pulled on/along/across the floor. Four strong women held tight her legs and arms, another woman sat strongly over her chest to prevent her movement and she was given a piece of rag, and forced to bite it to stop screaming. Then she was mutilated.
     

    Loob

    Senior Member
    English UK
    I agree with everything SrRdRaCinG has suggested. But personally, I would also change
    I say thanks to God because
    to
    "I thank God that"
    A very small detail!

    Loob
     

    bereborn!

    Senior Member
    colombia español
    Thanks everybody for those corrections!

    How about this paragraph, i still have problems with some words. i don't know if they are formal enough :S

    Female genital mutilation has been a difficult issue to discuss. It was sometimes called female circumcision which was deleted because could be confused with male circumcision, a completely different topic; it was used the term female genital surgeries too, but it did not have reception because this ritual has no any surgery tool or anesthesia, it is just a torture procedure. For Hannah, what was about to happen just did have no name, but after, it will turn into the moment when her life completely changed.
     
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