Non-sense sentences that sound sound

[Carlos Martínez Riera]

I'm looking here for combinatons of written words that, when pronounced alowd, tell a different story than the one you read.
One coud call them phrasal homophonies, if I dare giving a name to such thing.

Example:
FR: La bande des six nez ---> La bande déssiné
L'ultime atome ----> L'ultimatum

In other languages?

Carlos

 

[Artrella]

Todo por que rías >> todo porquerías

Las obras de ayer >>> las sobras de ayer

Les Luthiers, grandes hitos >>> Les Luthiers, grandecitos

Les Luthiers, unen canto con humor >>> Les Luthiers, un encanto con humor


Todas estas frases corresponden a obras del grupo argentino LES LUTHIERS.

 

[Cath.S.]

I'm looking here for combinatons of written words that, when pronounced allowed, tell a different story than the one you read.
One coud call them phrasal homophonies, if I dare giving a name to such thing.

Example:
FR: La bande des six nez ---> La bande déssiné
L'ultime atome ----> L'ultimatum

In other languages?

Carlos

Un autre, très connu, en français :
Et le désir s'accroît quand l'effet se recule... (P. Corneille)

 

[garryknight]

There was an extremely funny comedy sketch by Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett (written by the former - a true comedy genius) that was based around exactly this kind of word-play. A man goes into the hardware shop and starts ordering things from the shop owner: "I want four candles" (said in a Cockney accent). The owner puts four candles on the counter. "No, I said four candles". The owner looks confused. "You know, fork 'andles - 'andles for forks"...

 

[Leopold]

Nadie la tiende
Nadie la atiende

Leo

 

[Artrella]

Nadie la tiende
Nadie la atiende

Leo

Pobre!! lol!

 

[timpeac]

Par le bois du Djinn où s'entasse de l'effroi,
Parle ! Bois du gin ou cent tasses de lait froid !

 

[fetchezlavache]

victor hugo : il sortit de la vie comme un vieillard en sort. (il sortit de la vie comme un vieil hareng saur)

 

[fetchezlavache]

I'm looking here for combinatons of written words that, when pronounced alowd, tell a different story than the one you read.
One coud call them phrasal homophonies, if I dare giving a name to such thing.

Example:
FR: La bande des six nez ---> La bande déssiné
L'ultime atome ----> L'ultimatum

In other languages?

Carlos

one should call them un 'kakemphaton', at least that's the french name. i just learnt it 2 seconds ago.

 

[Asmodeo]

Una de Quevedo:
El tipo apostó con unos amigos a que era capaz de llamar coja a la reina. Y en una recepción en palacio le ofreció a la reina dos flores mientras decía:
"Entre el clavel y la rosa, Su Majestad escoja".

 

[timpeac]

victor hugo : il sortit de la vie comme un vieillard en sort. (il sortit de la vie comme un vieil hareng saur)

Fetchez - could you just explain this one to me please. I thought that you would have to say vieux hareng saur because "hareng" is masculine and "h aspiré" isn't it? Sorry I don't mean to be pedantic, and if the venerable V Hugo said it I'm sure it's right, but I can't see how

Thanks!

 

[Agnès E.]

Actually, you're right ! But you know, nothing logical in humour, nothing to be said against venerable Victor !

http://forum-images.hardware.fr/images/perso/205rallye.gif

 

[fetchezlavache]

you are right timpeac, but there is nothing wrong with a little imagination is there ?

 

[timpeac]

you are right timpeac, but there is nothing wrong with a little imagination is there ?

Haha, no of course not, I just wanted to make sure I understood. I see, one rule for good old Victor another for the rest of us...

 

[Cath.S.]

Haha, no of course not, I just wanted to make sure I understood. I see, one rule for good old Victor another for the rest of us...

Kakemphaton... vient de kakon = mauvais en grec.

Un autre :
Six russes c'est six Slaves, s'ils se lavent c'est qu'ils se nettoient, si ce n'est toi c'est donc ton frère !

 

[Jana337]

Twelve hundred Turkish prisoners were mistakenly killed in 1799 by Napoleon after he ordered them set free. He complained about a coughing fit he was having, but his words, "Ma sacrée toux," (my bloody cough) were misunderstood. Instead his men thought he uttered "Massacrez tout" (kill them all), so they opened fire, killing every prisoner.

Jana

 

[zebedee]

Twelve hundred Turkish prisoners were mistakenly killed in 1799 by Napoleon after he ordered them set free. He complained about a coughing fit he was having, but his words, "Ma sacrée toux," (my bloody cough) were misunderstood. Instead his men thought he uttered "Massacrez tout" (kill them all), so they opened fire, killing every prisoner.

Jana

Hmmmm...at the risk of sounding pedantic, surely it would have been "Massacrez tous" with the "s" at the end of the word pronounced, therefore the two sentences no longer sound the same?


EDIT: Just found this on the page Jana recommends in another thread:
http://www.snopes.com/language/misxlate/toux.htm

This story is also a bit absurd in a linguistic sense. The command "massacrez tous" is roughly the equivalent of an English speaker's issuing the unusual order "Massacre all!" Just as an English speaker would almost certainly use the more common verb "kill" and a more specific object (e.g., "Kill them all!" or "Kill all the prisoners!"), so a French speaker would order "Tuez-les tous!" or "Tuez tous les soldats!" And although the phrases "ma sacrée toux" and "massacrez tous" are similar in pronunciation, there is a distinctiveness to their rhythms that enables a French speaker to distinguish between them, just as English speakers can discern the difference between the spoken sentences "I want to see them all" and "I want to see the mall." (Moreover, unlike many other French words, the final 's' in "tous" is sounded; therefore "toux" and "tous" have distinctly different pronunciations akin to the English "too" and "twos.")

 

[Agnès E.]

The problem here is "massacrez tous" is wrong in French, it should be: "massacrez-les tous"...
And "Massacrez tout" means "massacre everthing", which does not work either.
So I think this is just one of the numerous legends running about Napoleon!!

 

[LV4-26]

If one wanted to sound very scornful, one might very well say "massacrez tout" (slaughter everything) even for people. All right, maybe this isn't something Napoleon was likely to say (or isn't it ? we don't really know), but this is something his soldiers might have understood.

That said, I don't believe this really happened. It's a bit too much. I mean the soldiers should have asked him to confirm the order, at least that.
Moreover, I have no reason to disbelieve what is said in the page zebedee an jana have mentionned. (Only, as I pointed out, I don't think the "phonetic/grammatical" argument is that valid).

 

[melusines]

Au Lion d'Or
Au lit, on dort

 

[o'clock]

Una de Quevedo:
El tipo apostó con unos amigos a que era capaz de llamar coja a la reina. Y en una recepción en palacio le ofreció a la reina dos flores mientras decía:
"Entre el clavel y la rosa, Su Majestad escoja".

Otra de Quevedo:

Se apostó que llamaría "puta" a la reina. Aprovechando que estaba resfriada le dijo: ¿Su Majestad esputa?

Del verbo "esputar": Arrancar flemas y expulsarlas por la boca.
Real Academia Española © Todos los derechos reservados

 

[Encolpius]

Interesting thread indeed, but I have the feeling kakemphatons work mostly in French, no? Is there an English name for it?

 

[L'irlandais]

It’s almost like a pun.

 

[Welsh_Sion]

They regularly feature as the two opening (across) clue answers in the concise crossword in the i newspaper in the UK (other newspapers may have them, too). They are called 'ninas' in English.

For example,

'little devil' (3) = imp
'fur, for example' (4) = hair

Nina: 'impair'.

Other types of nina are:

Ninas

 

[L'irlandais]

Hmmmm...at the risk of sounding pedantic, surely it would have been "Massacrez tous" with the "s" at the end of the word pronounced, therefore the two sentences no longer sound the same?


EDIT: Just found this on the page Jana recommends in another thread:
Ma Sacrée Toux!

In the French Algerian war, radio operators were in the habit of shortening commands they transmitted, for expediency. Some troops in the highlands found an unarmed shepherd cowering in a gully. So they radio their commanding officer at the base of the hill for instructions, as to what to do with the suspect. He says tell them “to bring him down here, so I can question him and decide if he is just a simple shepherd”. The radio operator transmitted the imperative “Descends-le!” (Bring him down!). A echoing shot rang out, followed by orders barked by the officer trying to find out who fired their weapon, on the hill top. The radio operator went pale, in slang “Descends-le!” means shoot him. True story, retold (in his published memoirs) by the chaplain, who consoled the radio operator before his return to France.

 

[Welsh_Sion]

@L'irlandais's war story reminds me of the (possibly apocryphal) story of a French General visiting a contingent of Breton troops during World War I in order to raise morale.

'Where do you want to go, mes braves?' asked the General.
'Ar gar, ar gar,' replied the Bretons to a man.

The General was very pleased. He thought that they were keen to go to the front line, and misheard what he thought was 'À la guerre'.

What the Bretons were actually saying was they wanted to go home to their kinsfolk!

 

[Hakro]

The break-through of computers has brought hudreds of English based words into Finnish language, usually either pronounced or written in a Finnish way and connected with Finnish endings for verbs etc. Examples:
to boot = buutata (ta = verb infinitive ending, a = connecting vowel)
to render = renderöidä (öidä = verb infinitive ending)
to ban = bannata
to scan = skannata
to select = selektoida
to share = sharettaa
trolling = trollaus
etc.

 

[franknagy]

Hungarian

• Kóbor ló / kóborló = stray horse / rover.
• Egy kis pesti vendéglőbe egy kis pesti vendég lő be.
  egy = a/an
  kis = small
  vendéglő = retaurant
  vendég = gues
  Pest = side of Budapest
  Kispest = district of Budapest
  lő be = he/she is shooting in
• A te tűd/ a tetűd = your needle / you louse.

 

[Encolpius]

Hello Frank, excellent examples.

 

[Circunflejo]

Todo por que rías >> todo porquerías

That one doesn't work because the /r/ of the first sentence has a hard sound and the one of the second sentence has a soft sound.

Les Luthiers, grandes hitos >>> Les Luthiers, grandecitos

That one just works in areas with seseo.

 

[jsvillar]

A couple of riddles with the answer within. Everybody knows them, so they are only good for children:
-Oro parece, plata no es/plátano es: Looks like gold, it is not silver/it is banana
-Blanco por dentro, verde por fuera, si quieres que te lo diga espera/es pera: White on the inside, green on the outside, if you want the answer, wait/it is pear.

We also have a whole tradition of 'hyerogliphs', which are puzzles in the newspapers with visual clues that shape the words or syllabes of the answer.
As an example, the hardest I know (so hard to solve that it is more a joke than a real hyerogliph) is like this:
Where are you going to swim? Answer: O OO O o O
Translated it is like this:
Nada redondel aros arito nada=Nadaré donde la Rosarito nada
Nothing, loop, rings, little ring, nothing=I will swim where Rosarito swims