Ode to the Spell Checker

Discussion in 'English Only' started by mjscott, Jun 13, 2005.

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  1. mjscott Senior Member

    Ode to the Spell Checker

    Eye halve a spelling chequer
    It came with my pea sea
    It plainly marques four my revue
    Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

    Eye strike a key and type a word
    And weight four it two say
    Weather eye am wrong oar write
    It shows me strait a weigh.

    As soon as a mist ache is maid
    It nose bee fore two long
    And eye can put the error rite
    Its rare lea ever wrong.

    Eye have run this poem threw it
    I am shore your pleased two no
    It's letter perfect awl the weigh
    My chequer tolled me so.
  2. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Chicago, IL
    US English/Palestinian Arabic bilingual
    Haha! :D Did ewe rite that yourself?
  3. mjscott Senior Member

    Not this one--it was presented by the teacher in a graduate class--with no signature at the end. Has anyone an idea of who wrote it?
  4. VenusEnvy

    VenusEnvy Senior Member

    Maryland, USA
    English, United States
    Ass far ass eye no, the sauce is unknown.
  5. garryknight Senior Member

    Kent, UK
    UK, English
    Sorry to tell you that Sharon beat you to it. She posted this back in August 2004.
  6. elroy

    elroy Motley mod

    Chicago, IL
    US English/Palestinian Arabic bilingual
    She joined the forum in August 2004...she posted that in February 2005.

    (It's a technically, I know, but just in case you thought the date to the right referred to the date the post was made...)
  7. mjscott Senior Member

    This was bee four the thyme eye was hear.
  8. garryknight Senior Member

    Kent, UK
    UK, English
    Ooops! No, I just looked at the wrong side. But thanks for letting me know. :)
  9. panjandrum

    panjandrum Occasional Moderator

    Belfast, Ireland
    English-Ireland (top end)
    If this kind of thing amuses you, and it certainly amused me when I first came across it way back in 2001, try:


    ... my personal favourite.

    Or follow any Googlinks to Anguish languish (English Language).

    Edit by Cagey:

    Replacement for first link, which no longer works.
    Search - SFGate

    The second link also no longer works. Here is a link to the text: Ladle Rat Rotten Hut: Exploratorium Exhibit.
    You can hear it read here: ladle Mp3 Download
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 9, 2016
  10. cuchuflete

    cuchuflete Senior Member

    Maine, EEUU
    And, as we are being technical, it's also a technicality.

    Don't bea up set a bout this pet he ed it.
  11. la grive solitaire

    la grive solitaire Senior Member

    United States, English
    And here's a sequel to mj's (also Sauce unknown) :)

    Bee fore wee rote with checkers
    Hour spelling was inn deck line,
    Butt now when wee dew have a laps,
    Wee are not maid too wine.

    And now bee cause my spelling
    Is checked with such grate flare,
    There are know faults in awl this peace,
    Of nun eye am a wear.

    To rite with care is quite a feet
    Of witch won should be proud,
    And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
    Sew flaws are knot aloud.

    That's why eye brake in two averse
    Cuz Eye dew want too please.
    Sow glad eye yam that aye did bye
    This soft wear four pea seas.
  12. mjscott Senior Member

    WOW! Any more word on an origin? No wonder people have difficulty with English!
  13. LadyBlakeney

    LadyBlakeney Senior Member

    I'm so impressed! From now on I'll dutifully apply myself to the study of Anguish Languish... :D

    I understood 99% of the poem (Wee are not maid too wine=We are not made to whine?), but I need to gather courage, stamina and neurons to tackle the texts in Pajandrum's links... Thank's for the new entertainment!!
  14. panjandrum

    panjandrum Occasional Moderator

    Belfast, Ireland
    English-Ireland (top end)
    LadyB: I came across Anguish Languish many years ago, and it still makes me laugh. Perhaps a small sample will encourage you:


    Wants pawn term dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage honour itch offer lodge dock florist. Disc ladle gull orphan worry ladle cluck wetter putty ladle rat hut, end fur disc raisin pimple colder ladle rat rotten hut.
    Once upon a time there was a little girl who lived with her mother in a little cottage on the edge of a large dark forest. This little girl often wore a little cloak with a pretty little red hat, and for this reason people called her little red riding hood.

    You need to sit down comfortably with a glass of your favourite vino rosso and a large box of tissues. You need to read it aloud for best effect.
    You need the large box of tissues to wipe the tears of laughter from your eyes and to wipe the spluttered vino rosso off the PC screen.
  15. k1n8fisher New Member

    As far as I know the original poem was contributed to Martha Snow.
    Although I do not know if this is 100 % correct I do think it is your best shot!
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