...of my own/my own...

Li'l Bull

Senior Member
Spanish (Spain)
Hi, native speakers of English!

Context: You're going to stay with some friends for a few days. You email them to let them know that you'd rather have your own room.

Can you say "I'd rather have a room of my own" instead of "... have my own room"? The context is a short stay, as opposed to having your own room in your house. Maybe the temporary/permanent situation is an important factor here?

Thank you in advance.
 
  • PaulQ

    Senior Member
    UK
    English - England
    The "of my own" is emphatic.

    A: "You look lonely. Do you want to meet some of my friends?"
    B: "I'm not lonely and I have friends of my own."
     

    Li'l Bull

    Senior Member
    Spanish (Spain)
    Thank you, MuttQuad.
    -----
    The "of my own" is emphatic.

    A: "You look lonely. Do you want to meet some of my friends?"
    B: "I'm not lonely and I have friends of my own."
    Thank you, PaulQ. In the context of my OP, does it mean that "of my own" might come across as rude/pushy?
     

    hamid5085

    Member
    farsi-persian
    You maybe interested in saying
    I prefer to have my own or prefer to have friends of my own
    I prefer to use my own
    Etc. .
     

    Loob

    Senior Member
    English UK
    ... In the context of my OP, does it mean that "of my own" might come across as rude/pushy?
    I think both your options could come across as a bit pushy;). Unless, of course, your friends had asked you whether you preferred to share or to have your own room, and you were simply replying to their question. If you were simply replying, then neither of your formulations would sound pushy:).
     

    hamid5085

    Member
    farsi-persian
    Dear loob
    I thank you
    But please note that
    If you prefer something or someone
    You like that one or thing rather than the other
    There is no forceful way
     

    Li'l Bull

    Senior Member
    Spanish (Spain)
    I think both your options could come across as a bit pushy;). Unless, of course, your friends had asked you whether you preferred to share or to have your own room, and you were simply replying to their question. If you were simply replying, then neither of your formulations would sound pushy:).
    Thank you, Loob!:) I agree that it's not very polite to impose your conditions when you're going to stay with friends :D. I'm assuming that you and MuttQuad don't see much difference between using "my own" or "of my own" in my example. What I don't quite understand (I'm still wondering... :confused:) is what PaulQ means by "emphatic" in the context of my OP - although I think the example in post #3 is clear enough.
     

    Hermione Golightly

    Senior Member
    British English
    I agree that 'of my own' is more likely to be used for emphasis, especially if it comes at the end of the sentence.


    "I've ordered only one hamburger. I thought we can share it seeing as I'm not very hungry.
    Oh really? That's what you thought, is it. Well, I want a hamburger of my own so order another one"


    I suppose the question could be asked if one was going to stay with a good friend who has a twin bedded room or if a couple, a woman and a man, were going together to stay somewhere and the host wondered if they wanted separate rooms because she wasn't sure of their relationship. Otherwise, it is a rather odd situation in my experience. The default situation is to put indiv- iduals in their own room and not even ask if they want to share.

    Of course staying in a hotel is very different. "Do you want a double room? No, we each want a room of our own".

    An option would be to use the idiom 'to myself'. "I'm not sharing with anybody! I have to have a room to myself"
     

    Li'l Bull

    Senior Member
    Spanish (Spain)
    An option would be to use the idiom 'to myself'. "I'm not sharing with anybody! I have to have a room to myself"
    Thank you, H.G. :) Talking about emphasis/pushiness, isn't your example above with "to myself" a little bit too much (for the example in my OP)? I mean, let's imagine your host has asked you whether you'd prefer a shared room or your own room (that's what I had in mind at first but I forgot to mention it - sorry - that's why my example said "I'd rather...", because I tried to present the situation as a matter of preference between two alternatives). So, you can choose between both options and you decide to have your own room. Would it sound natural to say...?:

    Hi, Ben. I'm writing to let you know that I'd rather have a room (all) to myself.
     

    Hermione Golightly

    Senior Member
    British English
    If you've been asked which you prefer, there's nothing 'pushy' about any of the ways of saying it. A lot depends on tone of voice anyway.
    (I know you know what 'prefer' means :))
     

    ewie

    Senior Member
    English English
    If you've been asked which you prefer, there's nothing 'pushy' about any of the ways of saying it. A lot depends on tone of voice anyway.
    :thumbsup:
    I'd rather have my own room
    I'd rather have a room of my own
    I'd rather have a room to myself

    ~ these all sound perfectly fine to me: completely synonymous, equally unemphatic, and not at all pushy per se.
     
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