This is part of a poem I've written. I'm wondering if 'lies' is grammatically correct. Thank-you.
Though it's true his actions changed me some,
but his darkness didn't win.
He never took my spirit,
or my soul that lies within.
But this is poetry and you can choose. And I think that sounds better here. It's a beautiful phrase."Soul which lies within" In this case you'd want to use the word which as opposed to that as you are not separating them from eachother but referring back to the noun.
Nice poem, and you have used 'lies' well. My one point, a quibble is about the first and second lines: Though . . . , but . . . Pick either though or but, but don't use both. The reason is that though signals that something either in a previous clause or a following clause will be in contrast to the clause introduced by though. But signals a contrast from the previous clause. Consequently, you have two contrast signaling words in the same sentence but only two clauses. It is similar to writing this:
Even though he couldn't get up on time, but he got to school on time.
Even though he couldn't get up on time, he got to school on time.
He couldn't get up on time, but he got to school on time.