our newest chalet to our programme for 2018/19

< Previous | Next >

Benp1994

Member
British English
The sentence is below:

"Thank you for booking our newest chalet to our programme for 2018/19, Chalet Arianne."
 
  • Benp1994

    Member
    British English
    We can't proofread entire sentences here. Do you have a specific question about a specific word or grammar point?
    Ok no problem. I can tell the sentence does not but I can't pinpoint why so it's quite hard to ask the question. I think it's the order of the wording/syntax... particularly the "for 2018/19" part.

    Or maybe if I remove "to our programme" do you think it might read better?
     

    Florentia52

    Modwoman in the attic
    English - United States
    It would help if you provided some context for the sentence. In what situation would you use this, and what do you want it to mean?
     

    Benp1994

    Member
    British English
    It would help if you provided some context for the sentence. In what situation would you use this, and what do you want it to mean?
    It is getting used in an app I have designed. The app is for people that have booked a holiday with my company so they would read the above when they click on the page for more information about their accommodation.

    I'm trying to thank them for booking a holiday in this accommodation (but in a personal way rather than sounding too generic). I'm also trying to highlight that this is our newest accommodation.

    Thanks!
     

    Keith Bradford

    Senior Member
    English (Midlands UK)
    I think you're trying to combine two constructions:

    "Thank you for booking our newest chalet, Chalet Arianne."
    "The newest chalet to our programme for 2018/19 is Chalet Arianne."

    However, they don't fit together properly in that order because as you can see there's a change of identifier. Perhaps you need to rephrase, such as: "Thank you for booking Chalet Arianne, the newest chalet to our programme for 2018/19."

    In any event, it might be more elegant to say: "the newest chalet in our 2018/19 programme".
     
    < Previous | Next >
    Top