pay costs of agreement between A, now known as AA, and C, which pertains to...

Leafka

Senior Member
Polish
Hi,

it is the first sentence of a text I'm writing together with a colleague:

In November 2015, XYZ agreed to pay the costs of an agreement between its former subsidiary ABC, now known as AAA, and the UK Serious Fraud Office, which pertains to a corruption investigation in Tanzania.

Is it easy to understand that it is the agreement that pertains to...? Or maybe we should make two sentences out of the one above to make it clearer?

In November 2015, XYZ agreed to pay the costs of an agreement between its former subsidiary ABC, now known as AAA, and the UK Serious Fraud Office. The agreement pertains to a corruption investigation in Tanzania.
 
  • Edinburgher

    Senior Member
    German/English bilingual
    Yes to both questions. ;)

    It is "easy" to understand what it means, but a first parsing will try to relate "which" to the UKSFO. Then the reader will think "no, that can't be right", will back-scan and think "oh yes, it must mean agreement".
    Depending on the mental agility of the reader, that correction can be made in less than a tenth of a second, or more than five seconds.
    The writer would be doing the readers a kindness by removing the need for this effort, which is easily achieved by splitting the sentence into two as you suggest.
    How clear is it to you what my underlined which refers to? :)
     
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