Persian: تا من به خاطر آخرین شعر، رنج جستجوی قافیه نبرم

Haji Firouz

Member
Romanian
Hello folks,

It's good to be back!

I have some questions about the following verses from Ahmad Shamlu - افق روشن /Ofogh-e roshan/.

1) First of all, how is my literal translation? I am unsure about the second verse.
2) Is /nabaram/ (or /naboram/??) derived from the infinitive /raftan/ and what verb tense is it? I don't find it in the conjugator.
3) Is baashad here the subjunctive from infinitive /budan/?
4) kamtarin - Least? Smallest?



روزی كه آهنگ هر حرف، زندگی ست
/Ruzi keh ahang-e har harf zendegist/
The day that melody of every word life is,

تا من به خاطر آخرین شعر، رنج جستجوی قافیه نبرم
/Taa man beh khater-e aakharin sher ranj-e josteju-ye ghaafieh nabaram/
so that? I for the sake of the last? verse the pain of the search of rhyme don't go?

روزی كه هر لب ترانه ایست
/Ruzi keh har lab taraaneh ist/
The day that every lip a melody is

تا كمترین سرود بوسه باشد
/Taa kamtarin sorud buseh baashad/
So that? least song kiss be


Adapted translation (found online):
"The day – that the melody of every word be Life
and I won’t be suffering to find the right rhythm for every last poem
That day – when every lip is a song
and the least song will be a kiss"

So:
/raftan/ is infinitive form : to go
/ro/ root of the verb
boro - imperative: go!
naro - negative: don't go!


My notes:
شعر /she'r/ Noun
1. Poetry, poem; verse;
2. R. Knowledge: perception

/joseteju/ جستجو
In search for: Ex. درجستجوی تو in thy search, in search for thee.

رنج /ranj/
Noun Pains, toil, trouble. Affliction. Hardship. Bodily pain, illness; ailment. Fatigue. Anguish. Injury.

قافیه /ghafieh/ A Rhyme. Ex. این شعر نه وزن دارد نه قافیه This verse has neither rhyme nor meter.

بر /bar/ Side. Ex. در برم نسشت He sat by my side. --> I don't think this meaning is used here

ترانه /taraaneh/ song, melody, symphony; trill; handsome youth.

Thanks a lot!

Best regards,
Ana-Maria
 
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  • marrish

    Senior Member
    اُردو Urdu
    1) First of all, how is my literal translation? I am unsure about the second verse.
    2) Is /nabaram/ (or /naboram/??) derived from the infinitive /raftan/ and what verb tense is it? I don't find it in the conjugator.
    3) Is baashad here the subjunctive from infinitive /budan/?
    4) kamtarin - Lesser? Smallest?
    Hello,
    I'll try to answer your questions and leave to you to work it out.

    Re. 1) it has some mistakes and is not really so literal but where you're unsure about the second line, it's (almost) correct, as far as the part in green goes (شعر is a couplet, consisting of two verses ---one looks for a rhyme (قافیہ qâfiyé) for more than 1 verse, indeed. Both words are prosody terms. ) The key to the rest is question 2). Through comparison with the translation which you found, you can eliminate your mistakes yourself, because it's a fine but also quite literal translation.
    Re. 2) it is نبرم nabaram (not رفتن but a different verb). Find it.
    Re. 3) Yes, it is.
    Re. 4) The other translation says 'the least', why should kamtarin mean 'lesser' or even 'smallest' – the word for 'small' is کوچک kuchek isn't it? While "lesser' means something else that you might have in mind.

    Can you proceed with these points?
     

    Haji Firouz

    Member
    Romanian
    Hello marrish!

    Thank you for your reply.

    About question 4), that was my mistake, I meant to write "least", not "lesser". So, again:

    تا من به خاطر آخرین شعر، رنج جستجوی قافیه نبرم
    /Taa man beh khater-e aakharin sher ranj-e josteju-ye ghaafieh nabaram/
    so that? I for the sake of the last? verse the pain of the search of rhyme don't suffer?

    Meaning: so I don't suffer the pain of searching the rhyme for the sake of the last verse?

    Are "so that" and "for the sake of" correct?

    I guess /nabaram/ is used instead of the more common /namibaram/?
    /nabaram/, the present variant without the /mi/ mark, is not very frequent, but rather literary or poetic, right?
    In regular speech or writing would we use /namibaram/?



    My notes (this part may be skipped, except by fresh learners, I am adding some useful notes for other learners like me, like a journal of progress):

    Wiktionary, the free dictionary - searching by بر , the present stem: found the /bordan/ infinitive.

    (bordan) (present stem بر‎ (bar))
    1. to bear
    2. to carry
    3. to take
    4. to win
    Apparently none of the above 4 meanings apply to this context. Because...

    /ranj bardan/ is an expression:
    رنج بردن Intransitive verb To suffer or take pains, toil; suffer; experience hardships.
    as found here: New Persian-English dictionary, complete and modern, designed to give the English meanings of over 50,000 words, terms, idioms,and proverbs in the Persian language, as well as the transliteration of the words in English characters


    Thanks everyone.
     
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