poor labour practices at a shipyard, and impact of shipbreaking on beaches, a practice... - clarity

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Leafka

Senior Member
Polish
Hi,

I'm writing about controversies around a shipbreaking yard in India:

In October 2016, a Danish NGO released a report on poor labour practices at the Indian shipyard, and on adverse environmental impact of shipbreaking on beaches, a practice that takes place there.

Is it clear here that shipbreaking on beaches is the practice that takes place at the shipyard?
 
  • Glenfarclas

    Senior Member
    English (American)
    That much is clear, yes, but the sentence as a whole is unwieldy at best. I might suggest "... and on the adverse environmental impact of the shipbreaking [is that a real word?] that is carried out on the beaches there."

    By the way, I take "there" to refer to "at the Indian shipyard" (which must contain several beaches), and not to India in general. If your intent is otherwise, you will have to say it differently.
     
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