Price of Living in the High Alps (summary)

clapec

Senior Member
Italian
Could you please correct this summary?
Thanks!

Price of Living in the High Alps


The standard of living in the Swiss Alps is to be raised, owing to an extension of the mountain economy. However, as Andreas Werthemann points out, mountain agriculture and farming should be maintained.
The great number of farmers, in fact, is the only advantage of the mountainous area of Switzerland: mountain farmers play an important role in providing food and preserving the landscape, while their cattle fertilize the pastures. However, not only do these people work at least 12 hours a day, but many have also a second job in valley factories, which obliges them to leave most of the farm work to their wives and children.
These problems must be alleviated, trying to preserve agriculture at the same time; one possible solution, according to the Government, is to create and emphasise other occupations besides farming.
 
  • cuchuflete

    Senior Member
    EEUU-inglés
    clapec said:
    Could you please correct this summary?
    Thanks!

    Price of Living in the High Alps


    The standard of living in the Swiss Alps is to be raised, owing to (not the best term for what you are trying to say, which I believe is, "by means of".) an extension (That's an odd word, and confusing, at least until one gets to the last line of the summary.) of the mountain economy. However, as Andreas Werthemann points out, mountain agriculture and farming should be maintained.
    The great number of farmers, in fact, is the only advantage (Advantage usually implies a comparison. What is being compared?) of the mountainous area of Switzerland: mountain farmers play an important role in providing food and preserving the landscape, while their cattle fertilize the pastures. However, not only (However and not only may be redundant.) do these people work at least 12 hours a day, but many have also a second job in valley factories, which obliges them to leave most of the farm work to their wives and children.
    These (These is plural. You have mentioned only a single problem.) problems must be alleviated, trying to preserve agriculture at the same time; one possible solution, according to the Government, is to create and emphasise other occupations besides farming.
    I await your revision.

    regards,
    Cuchu
     

    clapec

    Senior Member
    Italian
    So, is it possible to say: "The standard of living in the Swiss Alps is to be raised by means of a broadening of the mountain economy"?
    Or maybe I could say just "by broadening"?
    Thank you again for your kindness and patience :)
     

    cuchuflete

    Senior Member
    EEUU-inglés
    Either is ok. My style preference would be,

    The standard of living in the Swiss Alps will be raised by broadening the mountain economy, which currently depends entirely on farming.

    Happy to be of help.
    cuchu
     

    clapec

    Senior Member
    Italian
    Here is the revised version of my summary. I had to shorten it, because I'm not allowed to use more than 130 words.

    The standard of living in the Swiss Alps could be raised by broadening the mountain economy, which currently depends entirely on farming. However, as Andreas Werthemann points out, mountain agriculture and farming should be maintained.
    Mountain farmers, in fact, play an important role in providing food and preserving the landscape of the Swiss Alps, where living conditions are worse than in the rest of the country. However, these farmers lead a very difficult life; many have also a second job in valley factories, which obliges them to leave most of the farm work to their relatives.
    Mountain communities’ problems must therefore be alleviated, trying to preserve agriculture at the same time; one possible solution, according to the Government, is to create and emphasise other occupations besides farming.
     
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