promote ... as role models, teach people to accept failure as part of learning

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82riceballs

Senior Member
English - USA
Hi all,

I am trying to translate the following and am having trouble, especially with how to translate "as":

"Entrepreneurial Culture, which encourages people to start businesses, can be fostered by promoting successful entrepreneurs as role models and teaching people to accept failure as a part of learning"

My try: 企業家文化能激勵人們去創業、可以以宣揚成功的創業家為好榜樣的方式以及提倡容忍失敗的態度去培養。

Sorry if I butchered it! How would you translate this/what are your suggestions?

Thanks! Learn a lot from you all!
 
  • retrogradedwithwind

    Senior Member
    Chinese
    企业家文化激励人们创业。要培养企业家文化,可以树立榜样,宣传成功的企业家,也可以通过教育的方式,教会人们接受失败,认为失败是学习的一部分。

    Basically that is not a word-by-word translation.
     

    brofeelgood

    Senior Member
    English, 中文
    One suggestion is to treat "X as Y" as "把/将 x 当作/看作 y", e.g.

    企业家文化,可以通过
    - 把成功的创业家树立为学习榜样 (榜样 usually goes with 树立)
    - 及将失败当作学习过程
    这双管齐下的策略培养出来.

    Personally, I think retrogradedwithwind's version is excellent. The entire essence of the original text is preserved.
     

    SuperXW

    Senior Member
    My try: 企業家文化能激勵人們去創業、可以以宣揚成功的創業家為好榜樣的方式以及提倡容忍失敗的態度去培養。
    也可以这样说:
    鼓励人们创业的企业家文化,孕育方法有:树立宣传成功企业家的榜样;教育人们从失败中学习。

    楼主的翻译,个人感觉是为了忠于原文,强行把复杂分句整合起来,结果句子太长,有点难懂。汉语中任何一个句子成分(主谓宾定状补)如果太长,都最好拆成分句。我个人倾向于按照意思的重要性、易懂性拆分开,不妨增减一些字词。
     

    bsbaby

    Member
    Mandarin
    Hi Riceball,
    企業家文化能激勵人們去創業、可以以宣揚成功的創業家為好榜樣的方式以及提倡容忍失敗的態度去培養。
    Your version is quite good; however, you made a mistake of subject confusion.
    In English, there is no problem with this type of sentence "ABC, which does something, is blah blah blah..."
    But, you must be careful translating this into Chinese.
    If we use your example: 企業家文化能激勵人們去創業、可以以宣揚成功的創業家為好榜樣的方式以及提倡容忍失敗的態度去培養。
    First, the、sign is not correct. A comma should be used here. For proper usage of Chinese caesura sign, please check http://www.lbx777.com/ywfj/ywcs/bd/bd24.htm.
    So rewrite your sentence into: 企業家文化能激勵人們去創業, ......
    Remember, In Chinese, one comma can be a full sentence. Hopefully you can see that the second sentence "可以以...的方式去培養" is missing its subject.
    Chinese readers would be confused because subject 企業家文化 is simply too far away from the second sentence.

    Entrepreneurial Culture, which encourages people to start businesses, can be fostered by promoting successful entrepreneurs as role models and teaching people to accept failure as a part of learning
    The "which clause" here is an add-on to the subject. We can often process it by a "作为..." description.
    So my suggestion is:
    作為促進創業的強心劑,企業家文化可以通過模範效應以及正確對待失敗的方法進行培養。

    or you can simply rewrite your sentence into:
    企業家文化能激勵人們去創業,可以以模範效應以及提倡容忍失敗的態度去培養。

    FYI, the "talent, density, ..." description in previous slides,
    for density, although 密度 is the correct translation "scientifically", but I strongly suggest "配比“ to better fit the descriptions.
     

    SuperXW

    Senior Member
    So my suggestion is:
    作為促進創業的強心劑,企業家文化可以通過模範效應以及正確對待失敗的方法進行培養。
    or you can simply rewrite your sentence into:
    企業家文化能激勵人們去創業,可以以模範效應以及提倡容忍失敗的態度去培養。
    I still don't like these kind of long structures. It is too hard to comprehend.

    “...通過模範效應以及正確對待失敗的方法進行培養”
    is that 通過[模範效應以及正確對待失敗]的方法進行培養 or 通過[模範效應]以及[正確對待失敗的方法]進行培養?

    “...以模範效應以及提倡容忍失敗的態度去培養”
    Is that 以...的態度 or 提倡...態度 or 容忍...的態度 or 失敗的態度?

    I don't think an original Chinese statement should be written in this style.
    I think 企業家文化 is indeed too far away from the key verb 去培養. 以...的方式 as a 狀語, is too long and complicate.
    There are two key points of the whole sentence. Better separate them out to make them clear.
     
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    bsbaby

    Member
    Mandarin
    通過[模範效應以及正確對待失敗]的方法進行培養 or 通過[模範效應]以及[正確對待失敗的方法]進行培養?
    I agree there is ambiguity :D. But both interpretation have exactly the same meaning. It does not affect understanding at all.
    Unlike English, Chinese is extremely flexible with such interpretations.
    Sometimes sentences may be understood differently, and the writer actually intended it that way, a play of words.
    We can always split sentences, as in Retro's example above (#2), we gain clarity at the cost of integrity and comprehension.
    It is what I personally called "dot-point" approach:
    企业家文化激励人们创业。
    要培养企业家文化:
    1) 可以树立榜样 >>> 宣传成功的企业家;
    2) 也可以通过教育的方式 >>> 教会人们接受失败 >>> 认为失败是学习的一部分。
    This is good practice in technical writing describing complex issues. e.g. in a maintenance manual.
    However, here we are dealing with a slide presentation.
    I strongly recommend that the slide should post a "denser" sentence, and the presenter, in his/her voice, could use Retro's version to perfectly explain the topic.

    Is that 以...的態度 or 提倡...態度 or 容忍...的態度 or 失敗的態度?
    This combination is easier to understand, the only possible logic is 以 提倡[容忍失败的]态度。
     
    Last edited:
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