Public display of affection

Discussion in 'Cultural Discussions' started by macta123, Apr 25, 2006.

  1. eternal New Member

    For Yapese, or "Yap Island" there really isn't a such thing as PDA, ha.
    There is barely any words for affection towards someone other then your family o_O
  2. Outsider Senior Member

    Portuguese (Portugal)
    Hello, welcome to the forum. I had never heard about Yap island! :)

    Are the Yapese really that reserved?
  3. LaReinita

    LaReinita Senior Member

    East Coast, USA
    USA (Northeast Coast)-Inglés
    I'm from the Northeast of the US and I have to say that PDA is looked down upon here also. Now mind you, a peck, hug or holding hands is completely acceptable, but for instance, I am a cocktail server on Friday and Saturday nights at a club, and earlier tonight I saw this girl straddling this guy while kissing him and giving him pretty much a full on lap dance and she was wearing a mini-skirt. And my thoughts were "What a slut!" Sadly, after she finally walked away, the guy was like "I don't know where the hell that came from!" So I asked, "Don't you know her?" and he say "No, not at all!" It doesn't matter that this happen in a club, it was still in VERY POOR taste! It's not a swingers club! I don't think anyone should tongue kiss in public at all. I think that it's very tacky, especially by adults. You would think that they have a home to go to, do it there.
  4. krisbaby16 New Member

    U.S.A. - Texas
    U.S.A. - English
    In the city I live in, in Texas, PDAs are a lot more tolerable than when I lived in Arkansas. Personally I find it in poor taste to do any sexual or affectionate acts in public... I do not hold hands, hug, kiss, or anything else in public just because I think it's tacky and it makes me feel like I'm being put on the spot. So I would never do it, but I don't mind other people doing it.
  5. E180 Member

    England, English
    Not even hold hands? :confused:
  6. eternal New Member

    Not alot of people have. :) I guess you could say relationships are not a main priority, such as boyfriends/girlfriends, and even if you do get married they're are certain standards you have to go by, mainly what cast you are marrying into.
  7. Outsider Senior Member

    Portuguese (Portugal)
    Caste. ;)

    What do you think of the article I linked to above. Does it give an accurate description of social relations in Yap? Is there something important you feel is missing?

    From your post, I get the impression that not all Yapese are expected to marry. Am I right?
  8. argentina84

    argentina84 Senior Member

    Göteborg, Sweden
    Argentina Spanish
    I agree with you, but it is widely spread that people can do what they want where they want. Many times it's really disrespecful.

  9. Solbrillante Senior Member

    Hand holding-OK
    Short kiss on cheek, lips,top of head, hand-OK
    Small embrace-OK
    Arms around waist/shoulders-OK

    Anything other than that...get a room (Or, just don't get caught)
  10. ColdomadeusX

    ColdomadeusX Member

    As far as I've seen in Australia, so long as you're not actually having sex in public kissing and light groping's fine.-if you're really feeling each other up then expect plenty of dirty looks.But a kiss on the cheek and a hug are probably the most common non verbal ways to greet someone in Oz apart from handshakes. In Sydney,if you're in the back of the bus and kissing/groping a bit more than you would in a public square,it's kind of ignored-everyone around you usually pretends that you don't exist. I've seen people get the occasional "get a room,you lot". But otherwise it's not completely stiff when it comes to affection in public.
  11. anthodocheio

    anthodocheio Senior Member

    Having read the whole of this thread I'm so pleased you made this an issue guys and that this conversation came up again so that I can read it myself.

    I've travelled quite all over Europe and I live in Greece, OK? But I came home so confused after spending some days this summer at Barcelona...

    Here is Greece showing affection like greeting with a kiss and holding hands is more than normal. Walking around with your arms across each other's waists is perfectly acceptable and you every day meet couples kissing in mouth and hugging in public. Sometimes I even find them so sweet...

    But what I describe is an ocean away of what I show in Barcelona.. It made feel so really badly. Even in the middle of “La Rambla” where everybody is taking his walk there was a couple where the boy was “touching” so all over his girlfriend’s body, so in public, so NOT romantic...

    I’m really glad to see that I’m not the only one...
  12. argentina84

    argentina84 Senior Member

    Göteborg, Sweden
    Argentina Spanish
    Yeah. I have also discovered that I am not the only one! Everybody here seems to agree with modesty. That is not something I amnot accustomed to here in the city, where everybody feels free to do what they please no matter what others think or how they feel.

  13. MarX Banned

    Indonesian, Indonesia
    In Jakarta where I grew up couples holding hands is normal.

    Lip to lip kissing is rarely seen. Not because it's taboo or anything. It's just not part of our culture. (This is really hard for Occidentals to comprehend.)


  14. CrazyArcher

    CrazyArcher Senior Member

    In Israel it's okay to hug and give a small kiss in the cheek when good friends meet (the latter only for different-gender people, hehe). As for couples, kissing in the middle of the street won't recieve anyone's attention either. Touching each other all over is not OK - not in a really public place, at least. Cuddling in a park or at the seaside with barely any people around no one will say anything. Anything beyond that will be considered by others as really inappropriate.
    All that applies only to secular population. As for religious one, any contact between different-gender people is banned.
  15. Etcetera

    Etcetera Senior Member

    St Petersburg, Russia
    Russian, Russia (St Petersburg)
    The situation in Russia is pretty much alike the situation in Israel as described by CrazyArcher.
  16. MarX Banned

    Indonesian, Indonesia

    I wonder where may the border be, where men stop kissing each other (on the cheek) as a greeting.

    As far as I know, it is quite common in Arab countries.
    Do they still do that in Persia, Middle Asia, or Pakistan? Does the custom even reach some parts of India?


  17. Anathulia Member

    Trinidad and Tobago
    Trinidad and Tobago - english
    Well, I'm from Trinidad and Tobago, and in the Caribbean anything goes, I guess. You might get a few stares and some comments but other that that shows of public affection is not really such a big deal in my country. I guess when you see something in public that should be done in the bedroom, people just turn their faces and ignore it. If there were laws put in place for that kind of thing, everyone would disregard them. This is just trini culture, you can get away with practically anything.
  18. joy15 New Member

    davao city
    In the Philippines PDA is pretty much accepted, although avoid doing it in front of "old" people.We are a Roman Catholic country so most oldies will frown at you when you do it in front of others.The younger generations however are more liberated and will mostly not mind what you're doing.
  19. uchi.m

    uchi.m Banned

    Redeeming limbo
    Brazil, Portuguese
    When I was studying in Japan, I never saw any Japanese couple holding hands, let alone making out or kissing each other on the streets.

    I wonder how do Japanese couples express their feelings to each other... maybe verbosely?
  20. icklemiss_flirt Member

    Essex, UK
    UK - English
    In England kissing, hugging and holding hands is normal, although if you know the couple then some good-natured banter "get a room!" etc is normal!
    Over the top/overinvolved kissing/snogging/making-out willg et you funny looks!
  21. Sakuraita_ Member

    Español, Chile
    Here in Chile you can see a lot of couples kissing and cuddling around, and nobody sees it as weird. The thing is that you will get arrested if you are caught unaware while having sex in public spaces; if you are discrete, there's no problem at all.
  22. tvdxer Senior Member

    Minnesota, U.S.A.
    Minnesota, U.S.A. - English
    The question is why you'd do this. Do some people have such uncontrollable urges that they can't find a place in private to have sex?
  23. avok

    avok Banned

    In Turkey, a man can kiss another man on the cheek as a way of greeting just like French men do, too. So I am used to that and while I was in France, I made some Brazilian friends and when I approched to kiss one of the Brazilian men to greet some other day, he stepped back with surprise ! and he told me that men "never" kiss each other on the cheeks to greet each other in Brazil. He was not just surprised but also found it very disturbing to kiss another guy on the cheek as a way of greeting.

    And also Nordic people find "kissing" as a way of greeting very warm and mediterranean/oriental and not-so-necessary, so they keep "hugging" each other. But to me, hugging someone is far more personal than kissing someone ( a quick symbolic kiss on the cheek, well actually it is not even a kiss, just the touch of different cheeks) so, I generally hug people that I feel I am close to. And again that's the trend in Turkey.
  24. Grop

    Grop Senior Member

    Hello, men in France generally don't kiss each other for greeting: it is more common to shake hands (unless they are relatives, or maybe close friends - and it may still depend on places).

    The sort of greeting you refer to generally happens when there's a woman involved (meeting an other woman or a man).

    Anyway, this is greeting, not signs of affection (unless of course you are somehow extravagant at doing this).
  25. fenixpollo

    fenixpollo moderator

    American English
    Maybe they don't have a lot of options:
    So, what you are saying is that a parked car on Lover's Lane and a movie theater are not "public places"; and that people who make out in a movie theater are "morally decent", but people who make out on a park bench at night are not.
  26. Broccolicious Senior Member

    Glorious Devonshire
    English - England
    Hi All

    A few people have referred to same-sex PDA, which is interesting. In London, same-sex couples can walk along holding hands, with their arms around each other, etc, with no comments or funny looks at all. In some parts of town, two men kissing might draw some disapproving comments, but in most areas that would be acceptable. I think two women kissing would be more likely to draw negative responses.

    And outside London - well, in the small town in which I grew up, there is absolutely no way a same-sex couple could walk down the street holding hands without serious negative comments, probably verging on abuse. Sad and shameful, but true - those prejudices do still exist.

    Similarly, one of my black friends says that she receives far more negative comments when she is with a white man than when she is with a black man - comments from black people and white people.

    I wonder about same-sex couples in other cultures - and how about couples where the two people are of different races?
  27. Grop

    Grop Senior Member

    Well I havn't made a serious study or anything, but I think in my place it is definitely viewed as more decent to do it in a desert park at night than in a theater where people are actually watching a movie.

    (Concerning motives, they seem obvious to me too: no privacy at home, more excitement in diffent places, etc).
  28. avok

    avok Banned

    Hmmm Are you sure? Most of the French men I met, at least once attempted to kiss me. :D Of course I am not talking about serious occasions. But in Brazil, as I understood it is almost a taboo for a man to kiss another man on the lip..sorry the cheeks.
  29. Outsider Senior Member

    Portuguese (Portugal)
    Maybe they just do it with foreigners, to embarass them. :p
  30. twinklestar

    twinklestar Senior Member

    What about this in New Zealand? Are there any people from New Zealand and Korea?

    A New Zealander told me that his Korean girlfriend refused to hold hands with him in the street of New Zealand. But from his remarks, it sounds to me that he quite approves public display, i.e. French kisses, caressing in public.

    I read through the thread, but just found a member from Australia. I'm not sure if that between Australia and New Zealand is similar.
  31. Pugnator Senior Member

    Neapoilitan (Naples) / Italian (Italy)
    In southern Italy public display of affection are very common, especially by young ones and it is not frowned upon. (I mean mostly make out.). An American friends of mine once said that sometimes walks in street make him feel uncomfortable because, his words, seem that everybody "is about to fu*k each other" so I suppose that there is a big culture gap about this thing.
  32. Sepia Senior Member

    High German/Danish
    Could anybody describe what the exact duties of this "moral police" in India are? And is that what this authority is officially called?
    It seems odd to me that what allegedly is a democry would have such a police.
  33. Barque Senior Member

    The so-called moral police aren't an authority or an official body. They're usually mobs of members of right-wing political parties, who object to some aspects of "Western culture". They're usually more active in smaller towns. They object to such things as dating and Valentine's Day and unmarried couples sitting together on park benches. They started off as a political gimmick - small-time politicians trying to convince the public that they wanted to protect "Indian culture". According to them, sex and romance are permissible only among married couples.

    People can and do complain to the official police about them but the extent of action the official police might take varies. Valentine's Day is a day when the moral police make a lot of noise, even making public announcements about how they will try and force dating couples to get married, and there has been a crackdown on this by the official police.
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2018
  34. Sepia Senior Member

    High German/Danish
    Now I really don't understand any of it clearly - the action that may be taken by the police, that you are talking about is against whom: The street thugs that you call the "moral police" or against their victims? And if the latter - action on what grounds?

    What really puzzles me the most here is that we are talking about India - the country where it seems that group rapings can take place without police taking any action unless kicked very hard in th butts.
  35. Barque Senior Member

    Obviously against the moral police.
  36. Sepia Senior Member

    High German/Danish
    So the police is taking action against the things that harrass people for public display of affection?
    Seems reasonable. That is what police should be doing - however, I can imagine police here in Europe doing that, but not in India.
  37. Sepia Senior Member

    High German/Danish
    We had a funny situation here in Hamburg about a year ago, that has somewhat with this theme to do because most people believe that what took place was even illegal.
    Someone had photographed a woman visiting the trottoir section of a fashionable restaurant down at the port.
    If she was wearing anything at all it may have been her hi-heels. (I suppose her companion carried the credit card). A tabloid published the photo and it all seemed quite sensational. Then people from the restaurant and around there said they had seen here quite often and she isis alwa (un)dressed like that when she goes there.
    Is this legal? Answer from the press secretary of the Hamburg police - not just anybody, above him is on only the chief of police and the senator of the interior: Sure it is legal! As long as no sexual provocation, sexual arousement or act takes place which people with good right could find disturbing, there is no law against being naked.

    So if someone had anything against it they would actually have to call them. They would not stop the patrol car and get out just because they saw a naked woman walking by.

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