regain a <portion?> of consciousness

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Hikee

Senior Member
Polish/English - bilingual
I have this sentence (from my own writing piece):

In the meantime Fury’s* head almost completely submerged underwater causing her to regain portions of consciousness while choking with congenital/instinctive** gulps.

* - "Fury" is a name.
** - irrelevant to the topic.

Does this work? In Polish it definitely would, but dunno if it's OK in English. Can one regain a "portion" of consciousness? If not then is there a suitable replacement for "portion" out there?

Thanks in advance.


 
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  • Hikee

    Senior Member
    Polish/English - bilingual
    "Congenital" means instinctive, inherent - in this case an unconscious person thrown underwater congenitally tries to catch breath and so gulps water.
     

    grubble

    Senior Member
    British English
    I know what congenital means. I simply don't think it can be applied to "gulps".

    We could be said to have a congenital disposition to gulp whilst drowning (although even that sounds a little odd)

    congenital gulps :cross:
    instinctive gulps :tick:
    inherent gulps :cross:
     

    Hikee

    Senior Member
    Polish/English - bilingual
    Alright, thanks, but still this thread is about consciousness. Any ideas?

    [edit] I'd really like to get the answer to this question. I have no clue wether consciousness is dividable at all in terms of language.
     
    Last edited:

    grubble

    Senior Member
    British English
    I'd really like to get the answer to this question. I have no clue wether consciousness is dividable at all in terms of language.
    It is not really divisible into portions or pieces.

    Do you mean that

    (a) She repeatedly drifted in and out of consciousness

    or

    (b) She was partially conscious for an extended period of time

    ?
     

    PaulQ

    Senior Member
    UK
    English - England
    I could live with, "...causing her to regain a portion of her consciousness ..."

    Although 'portions' is often associated with food, we have, portions of the population/book/music/brain/ in fact almost anything.
     

    Myridon

    Senior Member
    English - US
    I agree with "partial conciousness" or "semi-conciousness". "Portions of conciousness" sounds to me like it's possible for the parts of her brain that does addition and the part that paints sunsets to be awakened separately. :)
     

    Beryl from Northallerton

    Senior Member
    British English
    Personally I have no problem with the notion of Fury's consciousness being sub-divided, nor do I have a problem with any one of those sub-divisions being referred to as 'a portion'. This all seems quite straightforward. I will confess to being a little mystified by the idea that a near-drowning experience might cause her to regain portions of her consciousness, but then I suppose that's none of my business. The "congenital gulping" to which you refer is better known as gagging, or retching.
     

    Hikee

    Senior Member
    Polish/English - bilingual
    Thanks, everyone.

    @grubble: I meant option A.

    @Beryl:
    "The "congenital gulping" to which you refer is better known as gagging, or retching."
    Thanks.

    Well, most of you agree that it's rather odd to divide consciousness into "portions", but, on the other hand, semi-consciousness doesn't actually mean what I want it to. And then there's Beryl's opinion... I guess I'll just have to crack it myself. Thanks.
     
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