returned with a slap in the face and an earring falling off?

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raymondaliasapollyon

Senior Member
Chinese
Hi,

I'm wondering whether the following is a good sentence, in terms of style:

My help was returned with a slap in the face and an earring falling off as a result.

I'd appreciate your help.
 
  • Glenfarclas

    Senior Member
    English (American)
    "Returned" makes it sound like you received both reciprocal help and a slap in the face. I think rewarded is the word you're looking for, although I agree that the phrase about the earring is awkward.
     

    Florentia52

    Modwoman in the attic
    English - United States
    We don't proofread or rewrite entire sentences here, raymondaliasapollyon. If you have a specific question about a word or phrase in your sentence, please provide some context for it and we'll be happy to help.

    Florentia52, moderator
     
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