reveal skin clean and fresh translucent fairness

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Moviefans

Senior Member
Chinese
Hi,

The title above is from an function explanation of a well-known skin-care brand name in my country.

I wonder whether the following advertising explanation is grammatically correct or not.

1) Dual efficacy of blocking and purifying, not only effectively blocks away the damages, but also help purifies skin from inside, to keep skin watery translucent fairness.

2) Dual efficacy from inside and outside, reveal skin clean and fresh translucent fairness.

To me, the bolded orange part should be "blocks" and "helps purify".
The unbolded organge part should be "keep skin watery, translucent and fair". Because the structure is "keep sth adj."

For the 2nd one, the part should be "reveal skin's clean and fresh translucent fairness".

The company says that its headquarters are set abroad. But I just wonder if they are not lack of English-natives, why can't they check the grammatical correctness? Or is this kind of immgrammaticality is tolerable in advertising for the convenience case?

Thank you for reading my thread and sharing your knowledge with me.
 
  • mjscott

    Senior Member
    American English
    Hi,

    The title above is from an function explanation of a well-known skin-care brand name in my country.

    I wonder whether the following advertising explanation is grammatically correct or not.

    1) Dual efficacy of blocking and purifying, not only effectively blocks away the damages, but also help purifies skin from inside, to keep skin watery translucent fairness.

    2) Dual efficacy from inside and outside, reveal skin clean and fresh translucent fairness.

    To me, the bolded orange part should be "blocks" and "helps purify".
    The unbolded organge part should be "keep skin watery, translucent and fair". Because the structure is "keep sth adj."

    For the 2nd one, the part should be "reveal skin's clean and fresh translucent fairness".

    The company says that its headquarters are set abroad. But I just wonder if they are not lack of English-natives, why can't they check the grammatical correctness? Or is this kind of immgrammaticality is tolerable in advertising for the convenience case?

    Thank you for reading my thread and sharing your knowledge with me.
    I don't get colors on my screen, but I think "reveal skin's clean and fresh translucence" would work. If you put in fairness, you would be getting rid of all users of the product that might have a darker complexion--or offend them for only thinking that fair skin can be clean, fresh and translucent. Using "watery" to describe skin does not appeal to this US skin product user, but dewey would be acceptable.
     

    Moviefans

    Senior Member
    Chinese
    mjscott,

    Thank you for communicating with me. But you know I am talking about those series of skin-care products aimed at Asian custormers. This company's headquarters are abroad, but its products are specialized. This series I am discussing now is developed for women in my country. They almost always want themselves to look fair, white, execpt for those who are alrady very stylish. Only those who are always stylish in face and figure can be beautiful with a yellow or brown face. This is unfortunately the beauty concept held by most people in China.
     

    Dimcl

    Senior Member
    Canadian English
    Hi Moviefans. We in North America often see this kind of incorrect grammar on products produced abroad and it does make it very difficult to follow directions!:)

    My first comment is that the words "blocks away damage" are very mystifying... how does this product "block away damage"? Does it mean that it helps prevent sun damage?

    "fresh translucent fairness" is also very strange-sounding to my ears as is the word "watery". I know what it's trying to say but, from a North American perspective, it just doesn't work. Let me try to phrase the text in a way that sounds natural to me:

    "XYZ product not only effectively blocks sun damage, but also helps to purify the skin from the inside to maintain its natural moisture and translucence."

    There's really no reason to mention "dual efficacy" when you go on to cite the two benefits.

    You'll also note that I've referred to "moisture" as opposed to "watery" - somehow "watery" has a negative connotation to me - all beauty products in North America tout the benefits of "moisturizing".
     

    Moviefans

    Senior Member
    Chinese
    I really want to reveal the brand name. That's Olay. I know it is a product under P&G Group set in USA.
    Some of the netizens (net citizens) tell on-line that, some skin-care products sold abroad and those sold at home are of different quality.

    But it's really awful for the company branch in our country to allow such unclear, bad translation printed on its packages. I have no difficulty with the directions, for there are Chinese directions, and more in Chinese than in English. But that kind of mistake reduces its reliability, right?

    If this brand was not that famous, I wouldn't be so surprised. I used to see various translation mistakes on the packages of ordinary or little known products .
     

    Dimcl

    Senior Member
    Canadian English
    I really want to reveal the brand name. That's Olay. I know it is a product under P&G Group set in USA.
    Some of the netizens (net citizens) tell on-line that, some skin-care products sold abroad and those sold at home are of different quality.

    But it's really awful for the company branch in our country to allow such unclear, bad translation printed on its packages. I have no difficulty with the directions, for there are Chinese directions, and more in Chinese than in English. But that kind of mistake reduces its reliability, right?

    If this brand was not that famous, I wouldn't be so surprised. I used to see various translation mistakes on the packages of ordinary or little known products .
    No matter whom the manufacturer, Moviefans, the odds are that they're simply hiring Chinese translators and some are bound to be better than others. The odds are also good that the better translators get paid more and, as we all know, the bottom line is what these companies are interested in. I couldn't agree more that the translations should be improved but if the manufacturer doesn't see a cost benefit, they won't bother.
     

    AngelEyes

    Senior Member
    English - United States
    1) Dual efficacy of blocking and purifying not only effectively repairs the damages suffered from our harsh environment, but it also helps purify your skin from the inside, keeping it fair and beautifully translucent.

    2) Dual efficacy from both the inside and outside reveals skin that's clean and fresh, and beautifully fair and translucent.
    Moviefans,

    This is what I think they were trying to say. I tried to stick very closely to the original words, but the ones they used were confusing and their message got lost in the chaos.

    Also, if this is Olay, I can assure you that, in America, that line of cosmetics and skin care products is considered "over the counter" mid-range cheap in price.

    The stuff I use (Clinique, Estee Lauder, Lancôme) is much more expensive and worth every penny.

    You want clean, healthy skin when you reach your fifties? You'd better invest in high-quality and consistent daily care for your skin when you're in your twenties.

    Olay is a very good product. But if your father knew what else is out there and how much it costs, he'd really be surprised. :)


    AngelEyes
     
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