se te observaba

[Dorien_O]

Hello all,

the sentence is in spanish, but i wanted to see if it makes sense to the reader.

Regresabas menos contenta que en el acto se te observaba


the english translation would be

You would return less happy than in the act you could be seen

the full text:
Me gustaba verte mover, acercarte, jugar con tu víctima, observar discretamente lo que querías y en un movimiento sutil tomar lo que no era tuyo. Regresabas menos contenta que en el acto se te observaba.

is this correct?
for some reason i feel like i'm missing a word, or the text is overall incorrect

thanks

 

[mirx]

Hello all, the sentence is in spanish, but i wanted to see if it makes sense to the reader. Regresabas menos contenta que en el acto se te observaba the english translation would be You would return less happy than in the act you could be seen the full text: Me gustaba verte mover, acercarte, jugar con tu víctima, observar discretamente lo que querías y en un movimiento sutil tomar lo que no era tuyo. Regresabas menos contenta que en el acto se te observaba. is this correct? for some reason i feel like i'm missing a word, or the text is overall incorrect thanks

"Regresabas menos contenta de lo que en el acto se te observaba". I would change the word order but your English phrase has the same forced fluency; so yes, one can understand but one probably wouldn't speak like that.

 

[lanueva]

You would return less happy than you appeared to be in the act ...

The last half is the problem. It sounds incomplete, like you need to explain what "the act" was ... maybe turn the whole thing around? You seemed happier during the hunt than after you had caught your prey? (Or something like that! Otras ideas??)