seduce, hit on and flirt

Siavash2015

Senior Member
Iranian-Persian
Hello. I'd appreciate it if you could explain to me the difference between hit on/seduce and flirt someone ......I looked up almost all dictionaries available, but all of them aren't specific and precise enough..
Please help me I'm getting quite obsessed about these words

# he was trying to seduce me
# I like flirting with girls
# stop hitting on me
 
  • The dictionaries are good for the first two. The third is a bit vaguer; it implies some sexual approach
    or 'come on'; perhaps innocent enough looking, but with sex/seduction as the goal. It could involve,
    for example, just making a joke (with that being part of a larger plan); it could be compliments, etc.
     

    Truffula

    Senior Member
    English - USA
    If you flirt with someone, it is most commonly a way of interacting with a person that you find attractive, or like in a romantic way, or of trying to see if you can get the person you're flirting with to see you as attractive or romantically appealing. Flirting is trying to increase their affection toward you and/or demonstrate that you find them attractive/romantically appealing. It's a way of increasing your interpersonal relationship with that person, and may not always indicate interest in acting on the attraction. Some people will flirt with someone they are actually not interested in, purely for attention. Some people will flirt with someone attractive but unavailable, for the enjoyment of flirting itself. Someone saying "Hi, I love your dress," might be flirting with you. Someone saying, "You're the most interesting person here," might be flirting with you. Part of the nature of flirting is that it's not always entirely certain it's taking place. If someone says "I wish I could talk to my wife the way I can talk to you," I assume he's flirting, but it's (remotely) possible he's just really glad he can talk to me and is having trouble in his marriage.

    If you hit on someone, it's a more direct proposal of a sexual, or romantic, nature. Hitting on someone can be a later stage of flirting, or it can be an opening tactic, but it's generally about actually trying to get a date and/or have sex. Someone asking you out is hitting on you. Someone asking you to leave the party with them is hitting on you. Someone saying "Hey, you are hot, let's do it" is hitting on you. It's really never in doubt that you're being hit on.

    Seducing someone is the entire process of going from them not liking you, or liking you but being uninterested in being with you for some other reason, to them falling in love with you or having sex with you. Seducing is also used figuratively to mean to get someone to give in to anything they're trying not to do, most often a vice or temptation. So flirting with someone and hitting on someone are typical actions taken in the process of seducing them. But also persuading the person and figuring out what they like and providing that. Seducing is also usually seen as a sort of subtle attack on the person. If you flirt with someone, and they flirt back, that isn't seducing. If you flirt with someone, and they leave your presence, and you try again another time, and they are obviously annoyed rather than interested, but you somehow overcome their annoyance and win their heart, that's more of what seduction means.
     
    I disagree with this. A seemingly innocuous move by a man A, to his 'object' Ms. B, in front of her friend Ms. C. can and does sometimes lead to exchanges like this:

    A: What a stunning dress you're wearing.
    C: I think he's hitting on you.
    B (to A): Are you hitting on me? (can be said in good or ill humor)

    Sometimes, indeed, a third party, C, sees the 'hitting on' and comments to a fourth, D, "He [A] is hitting on her." She, B, may be unaware of it. Later C is talking to B.
    C: I think he was hitting on you.
    B: Hmm. I hadn't thought of it. Perhaps you're right.

    Of course 'hits' may be entirely obvious, hence also called flirts or seductive moves, etc.



    It's really never in doubt that you're being hit on.
     

    Siavash2015

    Senior Member
    Iranian-Persian
    Wow! thank you so much Traffula. But unfortunately I didn't get the meaning of seducing..the definition of Longman dictionary is: to persuade someone to have sex with you, especially in a way that is attractive and not too direct: but I can't understand it fully. I'd appreciate if you could give me some examples sentences showing someone is seducing someone. And please do me a favor again and give me some example sentences that someone is flirting with someone. Thank you.
     

    Siavash2015

    Senior Member
    Iranian-Persian
    Thank you
    I disagree with this. A seemingly innocuous move by a man A, to his 'object' Ms. B, in front of her friend Ms. C. can and does sometimes lead to exchanges like this:

    A: What a stunning dress you're wearing.
    C: I think he's hitting on you.
    B (to A): Are you hitting on me? (can be said in good or ill humor)

    Sometimes, indeed, a third party, C, sees the 'hitting on' and comments to a fourth, D, "He [A] is hitting on her." She, B, may be unaware of it. Later C is talking to B.
    C: I think he was hitting on you.
    B: Hmm. I hadn't thought of it. Perhaps you're right.

    Of course 'hits' may be entirely obvious, hence also called flirts or seductive moves, etc.


    Thank you Bennymix, well said.. would you please give me some example sentences about two people flirting and another sentence seducing?
    Thanks in advance
     

    Truffula

    Senior Member
    English - USA
    It's not as clear cut as different dialogue examples in most cases - the dialogue can only be indicative. (As illustrated in the above discussion about the "stunning dress" :) )

    The real distinction is in the goal of the person doing it.

    So, if you are flirting, your goal is to change the mental state of the person you are flirting with - to make them like you more, or to make them think you are attracted to them, or to make them attracted to you. Or the goal may be just to have fun, to entertain yourself and the other person, with behavior that playfully resembles behavior that people would do who are trying to do one of the preceding goals.

    If you are hitting on someone, your goal is to get them to go on a date with you or to have sex with you. Or at least to let them know that's what you want.

    If you are seducing someone, your goal is to get them to fall in love with you, have a crush on you, or be eager to have sex with you. Or at least be a willing participant in sex with you. Or possibly to get them to choose to do some other thing that is either morally questionable, morally wrong, or not in their best interest.
     
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