Set the Grave to go high

Hoojan

Senior Member
Persian
There is a poem saying: Graves are actually made by the geomerician of the sky (God) through which mankind goes to upper world.
I has versified it as:
The geometrician of the sky
Set the Grave to go high

Is set a good choice for this?
If not, what about put or
made ?
 
  • Hoojan

    Senior Member
    Persian
    What do you mean by "versified"? What does "the Grave
    Versified: Translating the poem to an English poem.
    As for the second question I have nothing to explain more clarifying than what I have wrote in the first thread.
     

    Keith Bradford

    Senior Member
    English (Midlands UK)
    It's not the grave which goes high, is it? It's us. So how about:

    The geometrician of the sky
    Built/dug the Grave to send us high


    The choice between build and dig depends on whether, for you, the grave is a hole in the ground or a monument over it.
     

    Chasint

    Senior Member
    English - England
    ...: Graves are actually made by the geometrician of the sky (God) ...
    Graves are usually made by a human gravedigger. I have never heard of God doing it.

    Can you explain?


    ___________________________________

    Man digging a grave

    1660164368153.png
     
    Last edited:

    Hoojan

    Senior Member
    Persian
    All the suggestions seem good but the problem is the poem meter! So How about:
    The geometrician of the sky
    Let the grave be gateway
    (Supposed that sky and gateway here are somehow accebtable rhyme matches)
     

    lentulax

    Senior Member
    UK English
    I'm afraid that the ideas contained in 'the grave is made as a means by which mankind can find access to the upper world' cannot be expressed in 6 syllables!
     

    Hoojan

    Senior Member
    Persian
    There is no problem in this respect because soon after mentioning this verse in the story, extra explanations convey the whole meaning.
    Now my concern is if LET THE GRAVE BE GATEWAY is correct in terms of grammar and rhyme.
     
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