Should I add "," after 25%, and add "and" before resulting

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xiaonan

New Member
Chinese
Here is the the original sentence:
The proposed configuration would reduce the necessary labor by 25% bringing the number of employees needed to perform this work from 16 to 12 resulting in an annual cost savings of $197,984.
 
  • PaulQ

    Senior Member
    UK
    English - England
    No. The clause, "bringing the number of employees needed to perform this work from 16 to 12" should be in parenthetical commas, as it could be omitted. Two commas are sufficent:

    The proposed configuration would reduce the necessary labor by 25%, bringing the number of employees needed to perform this work from 16 to 12, resulting in an annual cost savings of $197,984.
     

    Edinburgher

    Senior Member
    German/English bilingual
    It's a close call. On balance, Parla's version appeals more to me than Paul's. The "resulting" clause is also parenthetical, and so is on an equal footing with the "bringing" clause. This justifies an "and", but I would be tempted on this occasion to keep the second comma even if using "and". This comma would not normally be needed in a two-item enumeration, but the length of the middle clause makes it desirable.

    If you don't want to think of the "resulting" clause as parenthetical, it would have to be at a higher level than the parenthetical "bringing" clause. In that case I think we'd need the second comma and the and, and we'd also need to change resulting to result, representing "and would result".
     
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