so persistent .... that

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Sergin

Member
Chinese
Which one of the following sentences is right?
Thanks~
So dogged were Frances Perkins’ investigations of the garment industry, her lobbying for wage and hour reform persistent, that Alfred E. Smith and Franklin D. Roosevelt recruited Perkins to work within the government, rather than as a social worker.

So dogged were Frances Perkins’ investigations of the garment industry, and so persistent her lobbying for wage and hour reform, that Alfred E. Smith and Franklin D. Roosevelt recruited Perkins to work within the government, rather than as a social worker.

So dogged were Frances Perkins’ investigations of the garment industry, so persistent her lobbying for wage and hour reform, that Alfred E. Smith and Franklin D. Roosevelt recruited Perkins to work within the government, rather than as a social worker.
 
  • Sergin

    Member
    Chinese
    I prefer the second one. because "so were... and so (were)...that..."is idiomatic I think:p But I'm not sure
     

    Miss Matty Jenkyns

    Member
    English English
    Sergin
    I would agree with you that the second version "feels" more natural to (this) native speaker of English. You could use the third version too, but the first is deficient.
    Thank you, by the way, for "introducing" me to a formidable woman - well worth the looking up!
     

    Thomas Tompion

    Senior Member
    English - England
    I think the first doesn't work - we need a so in the second clause.

    As between the second and the third, I think all depends on how fond you are of clauses in apposition as a stylistic device and whether you consider her persistence something other than her doggedness (to justify the and). I rather like them and suspect that the persistence is part of the doggedness (which would make the and positively misleading), so I'd go for 3.

    Example of a phrase in apposition:

    He was so angry, so thoroughly furious, that he forgot himself - the fury is the same thing, or part of the same thing, as the anger.

    without apposition:

    He was so angry, and so thoroughly furious, that he forgot himself - Here the suggestion is that the fury is something other than the anger, something in addition to the anger. This is a common error in loose writing.
     
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