Takeover

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you3

Senior Member
Japanese
Hi, all

I'm writing a message to my coworkers regarding a vulnerability in some software announced recently. I want them to be very cautious and understand the dangerous situation that it could lead to when it is exploited

In case this vulnerability is exploited, various damages from application crash to attackers' takeover of PCs could be caused.

Is the red part understandable?
What I want to say here is that attackers remotely use? or somehow control the PCs in our office.

Any comment would be appreciated.

Thank you
 
  • lingobingo

    Senior Member
    English - England
    Is it understandable? Yes.
    Is it well written? Not really.
    The sentence as a whole could be improved, but we can’t rewrite the whole thing for you.
     

    you3

    Senior Member
    Japanese
    Is it understandable? Yes.
    Is it well written? Not really.
    The sentence as a whole could be improved, but we can’t rewrite the whole thing for you.
    Thank you, lingobingo.
    I'd really appreciate if you give me just a little clue for improvement.
     

    lingobingo

    Senior Member
    English - England
    For a start, I suggest you look up the meaning of “in case” (rather than in the case of or in the case that) and also ask yourself whether your sentence needs any more punctuation.
     

    kentix

    Senior Member
    English - U.S.
    For a start, I suggest you look up the meaning of “in case” (rather than in the case of or in the case that)
    Or simply "If".

    Damage is uncountable. It can't be plural in this kind of context.

    As for the part in red, I think using a verb form is better than the noun form "takeover". You are warning about someone doing something.
     

    you3

    Senior Member
    Japanese
    Thank you, lingobingo and kentix.

    [QUOTE="kentix, post: 18651733, member: 803039"

    As for the part in red, I think using a verb form is better than the noun form "takeover". You are warning about someone doing something.
    [/QUOTE]

    Well, then,...

    If this vulnerability is exploited, various damage, from application crash to attackers taking control of PCs, could be caused.
     
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