Tears of wonder swell up in your eyes ...

mazeropa

New Member
French Canada
I am writing a short poem and I have a sentence that i am not sure if it reads correctly.
I am writing about being amazed or in awe at something and that :

.......tears of wonder swell up in your eyes.

Does this convey that message. Does this make sense?
 
  • TheMexican

    Member
    Spanish Mexico
    I am writing a short poem and I have a sentence that i am not sure if it reads correctly.
    I am writing about being amazed or in awe at something and that :

    .......tears of wonder swell up in your eyes.

    Does this convey that message. Does this make sense?
    I happen to like it and I think it makes perfect sense; much more sense than to "well up".

    I looked it up because I'm sure I had seen it used before in a literary context and Joseph Conrad used it in The Mirror of the Sea.
    I saw each of them swell up the misty line of the horizon, far, far away beyond the derelict brig, and the next moment, with a slight friendly toss of our boat, it had passed under us and was gone.
     

    elroy

    Imperfect Mod
    US English, Palestinian Arabic bilingual
    I happen to like it and I think it makes perfect sense; much more sense than to "well up".
    I'm sorry, but "tears swell up" does not make a whole lot of sense to me.

    Not that Google is definitive, but I think the fact that there are about 92 times as many results for "tears well up" as there are for "tears swell up" is pretty telling.

    Interestingly enough, you can say both "Tears well up in your eyes" and "Your eyes well up with tears."
     

    Dimcl

    Senior Member
    Canadian English
    I happen to like it and I think it makes perfect sense; much more sense than to "well up".

    I looked it up because I'm sure I had seen it used before in a literary context and Joseph Conrad used it in The Mirror of the Sea.

    Quote:
    I saw each of them swell up the misty line of the horizon, far, far away beyond the derelict brig, and the next moment, with a slight friendly toss of our boat, it had passed under us and was gone.


    This is a totally different context than tears welling in one's eyes. Tears "welling" refers to the fact that tears "build" up. Another example would be "strong emotions welled up in her heart" etc.
     

    TheMexican

    Member
    Spanish Mexico
    @ Dimcl

    True but you have to remember that this is also a poem so there is a poetic licence.

    Oh and what do I know? Well up and swell up are actually synomyms, meh. Either/Or then. :/
     

    mazeropa

    New Member
    French Canada
    I thank you all for your comments. Perhaps if I show you the last few lines of my poem , you will see the context and be better able to suggest the proper use of "well ' or "well up". I appreciate your suggestions. I am writing poems as a hobby and for my own pleasure.


    Tears
    of laughter when you are with your family and friends
    Tears
    because you can feel the beauty of life once again
    Tears
    of joy as every day you feel stronger and alive
    Tears
    of wonder well up in your eyes
    Tears
    of relief for again you feel
    Tears
    for your spirit healed
    Tears

    mazeropa
    September 2006
     

    Kenneth Garland

    Senior Member
    UK, English
    I think that works really 'well'! Better than I could do!

    Incidentally, regarding the quote from Conrad, don't forget that Conrad wasn't writing in his native language. He does have some slightly odd phrases and uses and this one doesn't sound very elegant - as if he was getting two ideas mixed up inhis mind.
     

    mazeropa

    New Member
    French Canada
    Thank you Kenneth.

    I am a new member. Would it be allowed to post to complete poem for comments or is the board not intended for this?
     

    Kenneth Garland

    Senior Member
    UK, English
    Despite having the grand title of a 'Senior Member', I haven't been in the forums that long myself! So perhaps you'd best wait for a moderator to comment.

    I would guess that it's all right to post sizeable chunks of a poem to allow other members to get the context and 'feel' of the piece in order to give you the right advice about words and grammar and style, but I would imagine that you should not post poems for literary comment.
     
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