the more population, the higher amount in .... [double comparatives]

[madeavailable]

Hello there,
I have some problems in using the structure "the more... the more...", which is common in expressing relative activities.
In an IELTS essay, I saw one candidate describing and comparing water consumption by saying: "Proportionately, the more population and irrigated land in one country, the higher amount in water consumption per person." I guess what he meant was water consumption will rise as population and farmland increased.

Are there any grammatical errors with the sentence highlighted in bold face above? What are your tips on using double comparatives structures?

Thanks a lot,
Nigel

 

[Copyright]

That is one messy sentence you've found. I'm not a statistician, but since you have "per person," I'm not sure you need "proportionately." And "one" is odd and "amount" needs an article.

The greater the population and amount of irrigated land in a country, the higher the water consumption per person.

 

[owlman5]

Hello, Nigel.

In an IELTS essay, I saw one candidate describing and comparing water consumption by saying: "Proportionately, the more population and irrigated land in one country, the higher amount in water consumption per person." I guess what he meant was water consumption will rise as population and farmland increased.

You understood what he was trying to say.

Are there any grammatical errors with the sentence highlighted in bold face above?

Yes. Here is my version of his sentence. His sentence seems to be missing a couple of articles: "Proportionately, the greater the population and irrigated land in one country, the higher the amount of water consumption per person."

I have no general tips to offer you about making this kind of comparison. I'll bet you'd find some good tips if you searched for them with a decent search engine on the internet.

Cross-posted with Copyright.