the use/employment of

marcbatco

Senior Member
Italian-Italy
Hi, I would like to know which of the options in bold (I would opt for the second) is more appropriate in the following (it is a bullet list):
  • Involved in the commercial aspects of the business such as sales and procurement, and in preparing and verifying HSE plans (including the use/employment of methods for risk assessment such as X, Y, ...)
 
  • Egmont

    Senior Member
    English - U.S.
    In this case they mean the same, so choose the shorter, more direct word as a matter of style. (That wouldn't be the style choice in every language, but it is in business English.)
     

    Edinburgher

    Senior Member
    German/English bilingual
    If you're trying to impress by using big words, forget it. "Use" is better here because it is more straightforward.
    I would probably re-phrase, and delete "including": "(using various risk assessment methods such as...)".
     

    marcbatco

    Senior Member
    Italian-Italy
    In this case they mean the same, so choose the shorter, more direct word as a matter of style. (That wouldn't be the style choice in every language, but it is in business English.)
    If you're trying to impress by using big words, forget it. "Use" is better here because it is more straightforward.
    I would probably re-phrase, and delete "including": "(using various risk assessment methods such as...)".
    Hi Egmont and Edinburgher, and thank you for your advice.
    To Edinburgher: would you replace the parentheses with a comma, as follows:
    • Involved in the commercial aspects of the business such as sales and procurement, and in preparing and verifying HSE plans, using various risk assessment methods such as X, Y, ...
    Or, do you prefer the version with parentheses?
     

    Edinburgher

    Senior Member
    German/English bilingual
    Or, do you prefer the version with parentheses?
    I only used parentheses because they were also used in the original. I would be happy with a comma instead, or even no comma.

    If omitting the comma, it might be a good idea to add the word "by" in its place, just to make sure that "using" is interpreted as modifying the verbs "preparing and verifying", and not misinterpreting "using" as "which use", and thereby modifying "HSE plans".
     
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